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Is it you?
Contributed by
StormyNites
on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 03:06:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
I lay awake in the stillness of the night
Wishing to rewind the hands of time
Erasing the moments we had shared
That left my spirit ragged and torn
When you said that I was yours
How ever did you find the room
How did you ever find the time
Between your harlots and your whores?
You probably wont even read this poem
You won't even know its just for you
You're so self centred,so self involved
More than likely you've only ever read your own
Copyright ©
StormyNites
... [
2006-09-18 15:06:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Drapes on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 04:28:19 PM AEST
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| I like the bitter tone. I can feel your disgust in him. I like the word choice, it helps set the mood. Great write! |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 04:48:37 PM AEST
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| Well done, what a bite.. |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 05:04:54 PM AEST
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Well said! Stick to your guns. You captured you thoughts and feelings well.
~Michelle~ |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by LonelyPoet on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 06:24:25 PM AEST
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| Love the write...but will want to know if he reads it ! Keep up the good works |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alison on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 06:59:50 PM AEST
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hey i dated someone like that to! I hope the hurt stops sooner than later. good write!
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 08:42:33 PM AEST
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Your write bites. I like it. Especially that second stanza.....ya had me cheering you on. Thanks for sharing. Our emotions...even anger can cause some great word spillage. Well expressed emotions here.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Skillz on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 11:44:29 PM AEST
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| the bitterness is almost tangible...very good poem...i hope your man reads it !! |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Tuesday, 19th September 2006 @ 11:26:42 AM AEST
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well expressed emotions
Shari |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Tuesday, 19th September 2006 @ 12:52:38 PM AEST
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| I know someone just like that too..this was great..I felt the anger like a hot skillet handle..hope he grabs it and gets burned. lol. |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by whiteleo1984 on
Thursday, 21st September 2006 @ 12:29:38 AM AEST
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| angry and bitter, very emotional... |
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Re: Is it you?
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Friday, 22nd September 2006 @ 06:25:50 PM AEST
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I can relate a lot with the first two stanzas... Love lost can be hard. I love the last stanza though - such a biting attitude, showing the vanity of the other as well as hinting of how you must of felt you were treated. I like poetry that doesn't just attack, but does it in a clever way - like this.
Good write, albeit very sad.
- Tim |
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