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FROM YESTERDAY TO SUICIDE
Contributed by
tifrob
on
Thursday, 14th September 2006 @ 04:44:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
As children play in memories’ past,
Days there were full of laughs,
Mornings started in much the same way,
As did the nights at the end of the day,
Then as children must always do,
As each year passes so they grew,
From children to adults they do mature,
And begins their lives with small detours,
Little girls once ~ Now, become wives,
Little boys also begin new lives,
Brothers and sisters now separated by miles,
No longer confide ~ As did the long ago child,
Putting on their game face and hiding the pain,
Not wanting to be the one to complain,
Life gets harder as the years race by,
Alone in a world with no allies,
Failures ~ Real or imagined ~ Are failures still,
What happened to the child who believed in goodwill?
A new best friend ~ A bottle to drink,
As it slides down ~ No need to think,
Then one day the drink doesn’t numb,
And thoughts of suicide begin to come.
~~~
More and more these thoughts rush in,
The drink really wasn’t your best friend,
The sister and brother that was left behind,
They wanted help but you were deaf and blind,
They wanted to help pull you back,
But you kept planning this morbid act,
Finally, you did it ~ You killed yourself,
You never thought of any one else,
You couldn’t see past the bottle you held,
So, the family you left ~ Is living through hell.
~~~
If you could hear your family cry,
You’d be sorry ~ That you had to die.
Copyright ©
tifrob
... [
2006-09-14 04:44:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: FROM YESTERDAY TO SUICIDE
(User Rating: 1 )
by twbanter on
Thursday, 14th September 2006 @ 05:37:30 AM AEST
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I think it works well. I would definitly give it. While I may have worded some things differently, that's only a prefference. Nice job!!!
Tom W |
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Re: FROM YESTERDAY TO SUICIDE
(User Rating: 1 )
by OceanZ on
Thursday, 14th September 2006 @ 05:37:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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hmm, i dont really know how to comment on it, she asked u to write her a poem expressing her feelings, but that's what no one can do,, u can see things from your own point of view,, how about teaching her, how to express her own feelings through poetry and u be there and guide her?
i guess it'll be much better.. i'm not saying this poem isnt good,, it is for the matter of fact, but we write to describe how we feel.. so let her have the chance to show her feelings ,, she might feel better... |
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Re: FROM YESTERDAY TO SUICIDE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lilbabe on
Friday, 15th September 2006 @ 04:47:42 PM AEST
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it was pretty good. but realize that once you are to the point of killing yourself, most people focus on their own pain, it just seems so bad.
i like how you started them as children, so innocent, then to the future as adults.
i would give her the poem...its horrible that happened.
lex |
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Re: FROM YESTERDAY TO SUICIDE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nothingness on
Wednesday, 20th September 2006 @ 09:12:23 AM AEST
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| t was good...and i would give it but i would prolly write up something to go along with it just like somethign to give her support loosing a brother is really hard i know been there..but yeah you dont want to you help you would cut deeper just a suggestion of course |
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Re: FROM YESTERDAY TO SUICIDE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Saturday, 21st July 2007 @ 10:17:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I know it's a bit "after the fact" and all,
but I felt compelled to comment, as there's much
in this post relative to a sibling of my own and her
current condition..regarding addiction and whatnot-
..very moving..
(and for those like your friend and I, thought provoking as well)
Great post.
B
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