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Trapped in this room
Contributed by
babylugz
on
Wednesday, 13th September 2006 @ 06:17:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I am trapped in this room on my own free will
Watching the world pass me by as I stand still
Wondering if I will ever be able to break free
From these invisible chains that bind me
I feel like I volunteered to be a prisoner of depression
And that it won't go away until I have learned my lesson
What lesson that is, well I am not sure
But I don’t know how much more of this pain I can endure
Sometimes I wish I could just sleep for years
Then maybe I won’t cry so many tears
Depression can be abusive and it has beaten me down
It replaced my smile with a permanent frown
It tells me happiness will be just a memory
And that this is how I will forever be
Sometimes this life’s to hard to live
And I feel I have given all I can give
Then I think I must be insane
Because dying is not going to end this pain
I struggle to gain back strength I once had
And tell myself that is not so bad
I’ve been through much worse before
And my life is really not so poor
So then what is it that’s wrong with me?
Because this is no way for a person to be
What is sad is that I don’t even know why I am sad
I can’t even tell you why it hurts so bad
Or do I and I just don’t want to admit
What it is that keeps me here feeling like ****
Copyright ©
babylugz
... [
2006-09-13 18:17:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Trapped in this room
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Wednesday, 13th September 2006 @ 06:42:35 PM AEST
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I can relate to this poem. I too have often written about being trapped by my own free will. I only feel that the strength of the poem would be increased if it were free verse. When your trying to express emotions and deep thoughts, sticking to a tight structure tends to force it a little.
Still, a poem is a person's own art and expression and if are happy with the style, that's fine - I've just had techique drummed into me.
I hope you can find things to inspire you however. For me, many aspects of life have turned out to be a let down. Now I'm absorbed by science and the art - just finding the beauty of the world and blowing all else off!
Keep up the art!
- Tim |
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Re: Trapped in this room
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fireysoul16 on
Wednesday, 13th September 2006 @ 07:31:30 PM AEST
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| I like the poem alot but I do have to say that I believe it would be better if the rhyme isnt forced but its your poem who am I to tell you that your art must be changed? Its your poem and your creation. |
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Re: Trapped in this room
(User Rating: 1 )
by twbanter on
Wednesday, 13th September 2006 @ 07:35:04 PM AEST
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Free verse, prose, sonnet, no matter here. That poem spoke in volumes of YOUR experience. I struggle to gain back strength I once had
And tell myself that is not so bad
I’ve been through much worse before
And my life is really not so poor
So then what is it that’s wrong with me?
Isn't that the root of depression. It doesn't make sense... Last year, I was happy, now I'm depressed... Not much may have changed, in fact sometimes nothing at all! Damn it! Why?...
I say good write. While it could have been writen differently, it works just fine for me...
Tom W
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Re: Trapped in this room
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 13th September 2006 @ 08:22:04 PM AEST
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I consider one thing when I read a poem. One thing. Effectiveness. In this write you have effectively expressed a very serious and possibly even dangerous funk in your life. You've done it in a way that doesn't seem to reach out to others, though. I'm a little bit concerned. PM me and let's talk about that. Good work, baby...
wabl
KenMoore
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Re: Trapped in this room
(User Rating: 1 )
by Delusions on
Friday, 15th September 2006 @ 04:48:28 AM AEST
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| Awsome... I can really relate to this... |
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Re: Trapped in this room
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 1st October 2006 @ 10:41:07 PM AEST
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wow this poem is amazing
sad facts of depression
but very well expressed
you keep writing and i will read more |
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