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Conformity
Contributed by
bobbyzimmerman
on
Friday, 8th September 2006 @ 08:34:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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I will not shave my unkempt beard
I won’t lose sleep if I’m thought weird
I will not serve conformist pigs
In secret wearing powdered wigs
I will not be judged financially
Nor called noble, slave or bourgeoisie
I will shed my number and grow a name
And not be a toy in the battle game
I will acknowledge genocide
Instead of apathy worldwide
And as I sit and write these lines
I read my tear-stained New York Times
Copyright ©
bobbyzimmerman
... [
2006-09-08 20:34:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Conformity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 8th September 2006 @ 11:32:34 PM AEST
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This is rather good. The rhyme is good enough not to intrude on the integrity of the piece, and that's an accomplishment growing rarer every day.
Good message, gutsy I guess I could say. There're echoes of Green Day here, almost - actually this is written much like song lyrics. Which is not always good for a poem, but comes through well here.
Andrew |
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Re: Conformity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Uncertain_Oblivion on
Saturday, 9th September 2006 @ 11:45:48 AM AEST
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This was really well done...
My favorite 2 lines were
"I will shed my number and grow a name
And not be a toy in the battle game"
And as far as shaving goes..I say just don't do it then, ya don't wanna, don't do it. In fact you have inspired me to not shave anymore....(Nooooo! I'm ONLY joking. I couldn't do that, but a guy could and he can be hot doing it, look at Rob Zombie for instance, unkept, unshaven....hot.)
Anyway...
This was a great poem and every word of it flowed perfectly into the next line. It was pure talent and nothing less. *hugs*
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Re: Conformity
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 9th September 2006 @ 06:53:37 PM AEST
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*clapping* Damn Dylan...this was a good write. Gutsy, bold and then at the end....your feelings so laid out. I loved it.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Conformity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 9th September 2006 @ 07:42:40 PM AEST
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At the risk of sounding "redundant", yes .. VERY gutsy!
This was excellent. I applaud you!! That last stanza
seriously got to me. A perpetual sadness we live in, no?
A perfect statement of the conviction to stand in nonconformity!
~Breezy
[impressed] |
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