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Come with Me to Fantasy Land
Contributed by
jerseysue
on
Saturday, 2nd September 2006 @ 06:23:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
surreal
|
A tender voice whispered to me,
I will take you away from all the pain,
To a wonderland, please take my hand,
And you will never face sorrow again,
To a place of calm, and beauty,
Way above the heavenly stars,
Where lies no trace of the human race,
Where your heart will bare no scars,
Where the sky is blue, the grass so green,
And the flowers are all in full bloom,
Where everyone walks hand in hand,
Please say you will come with me soon,
Your sad times will be forgotten,
If you join me in this wonderland,
But to be accepted in this place,
There are some things you must understand,
The voice said listen, I will explain,
For rules and regulations there be,
To live in this place, some facts you must face,
And what I suggest, you must always agree,
You must leave behind your family and friends,
And forget that they ever existed,
For when you come to my wonderland,
As an orphan you will be listed,
You will be mine, for always this time,
For death will bring you to me,
To live with me , in this fantasy,
Is the way that it has to be,
I listened, but I was filled with doubt,
Then realised who he must be,
This nasty old troll, he wanted my soul,
It must be the devil I see,
He painted a picture, of beauty and love,
Which he knew was my desire,
But in reality, he was taking me,
To hell, with brimstone and fire,
It was then I said NO, I will not go,
I will not be part of your scheme,
You are so bad, and I am so glad,
I will never join you in your dream,
The devil then fled,for he knew he had lost,
There was no way he could take me,
For that tender voice,he gave me my choice,
It was the love of my family,
So the moral of this sorry tale is,
Don't believe in fantasy land,
Just be thankful for what you have.
I hope you understand.
Copyright ©
jerseysue
... [
2006-09-02 18:23:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by brneyes7513 on
Saturday, 2nd September 2006 @ 07:11:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great poem.....it flowed together very well. The theme was great...I really liked it! |
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on
Saturday, 2nd September 2006 @ 08:16:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good write
well delievered |
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 3rd September 2006 @ 02:18:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A breath taking write that is thought provoking.
What more could a person ask for?
A poetic, mastrpeice.
huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by JGB on
Sunday, 3rd September 2006 @ 05:22:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Ohh jerseysue, I LOVE YOU!
I understand. The children think they are in a fantasy land.
thank you!
Joanna |
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ruby2sdy on
Sunday, 3rd September 2006 @ 10:20:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. awesome write sue, if this one isn't as good as the first, the first must have been exceedingly spectacular. i absolutely love the rhyme scheme, and the little story it tells. wicked,
2sdyx
ps- did i mention that this was brilliant? |
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 3rd September 2006 @ 05:34:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
..what a fantastic turn in the 9th Sue
and how ironic that I never saw it coming-
"for the greatest trick the devil ever pulled
was convincing the world he didn't exist"
not sure, the author of that quote
..regardless of what you lost, this was a fantastic piece, indeed!
B |
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 3rd September 2006 @ 08:04:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
ah yes .. deceptive temptation .. humans, so willing to
believe there could be some perfect haven -fantasy
wonderful write sue .. reminds us how fortunate we
are to have what we do. Even if sometimes life is taxing ..
especially those times, in fact!!
~Breezy |
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by doug on
Sunday, 3rd September 2006 @ 08:06:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I've had my share of accidental deletions
but I'll say that first one must have been
really great to beat this draft. I really enjoyed
it and I think it was great.
truly , Doug |
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Re: Come with Me to Fantasy Land
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Monday, 4th September 2006 @ 11:16:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Classic is the flow
and yes
I understand. |
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