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The Accident
Contributed by
StormyNites
on
Thursday, 31st August 2006 @ 04:02:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
Event
|
Frozen in the drivers seat of the car..like a frantic deer, staring into a cars' lights
The back end of the car,recklessly carreening sideways
My frantic eyes hypnotized by the pelting rain on this bleakest of nights
Wishing it was tomorrow, praying ill see sunrises for many more days
I saw in slow motion and felt the vicious impact before it even occured
The thundering crash of hot metal against the cool wet cement
The initial contact aroused me to a pain i wasnt sure could be endured
Thats when i knew for sure I had an angel that surely was heaven sent.
My inner mind screaming ,pleading please..please let it stop
Onward the car went like a missle just launched
The broken wheels lifting in the air waiting to drop
The torrent of tears trickling down my face..no one could staunch
Copyright ©
StormyNites
... [
2006-08-31 04:02:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Accident
(User Rating: 1 )
by sadaddy on
Thursday, 31st August 2006 @ 04:32:06 AM AEST
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Sorry, it left me wanting more, great start though.
sadaddy
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Re: The Accident
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Thursday, 31st August 2006 @ 10:59:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Interesting flow..... |
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Re: The Accident
(User Rating: 1 )
by Uncertain_Oblivion on
Friday, 8th September 2006 @ 01:54:24 PM AEST
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| I liked it..I really did. I liked how the ending left you guessing, like it was meant to be filled in by the readers imagination. I say she lived because she had the guardian angel with her??? Great write Stormy. |
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Re: The Accident
(User Rating: 1 )
by TwistedCage on
Friday, 8th September 2006 @ 02:36:46 PM AEST
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Very nice, Stormy! So descriptive, and right on the money as far as car wrecks go. I've been in many, lol! I guess around five, and the whole scenerio you presented was spot on! (Well, except for the torrent tears part...I was always too frightened to cry, haha)
I enjoyed the finish as well. No need to explain the afters when the point was to bring the reader into the accident itself.
Very well done, and very well written
--James-- |
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