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First Love
Contributed by
StormyNites
on
Wednesday, 30th August 2006 @ 03:14:19 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Alone...he's alone, grief tomenting his spirit,
Laying on his bed, eyes brimming with tears,
His body curled up, like a leaf past its prime
In his tightly clenched hands, the blanket he had as a child.
The sounds of his cries, though muffled,
Echo through the house,and his mother weeps for him.
She knocks lightly at his door,opening it slowly
She can feel his pain palpitating through him,consuming him.
She walks on silent feet to his side
Stroking his hair, and kisses his head
With gentle trembling fingers she brushes away his tears
She caresses his face, and never asks why.
Why Mom ? Why? He chokes on a sob.
She told me she loved me,and always would,
Why did she leave, he asks with bewildered innocence,
The tears spiking his dark black lashes.
His mom holds his trembling frame,
She can only listen, they know there is no answer,
She gazes down at his blanket, threadbare and tattered,
Still in his gripped fingers, the magic still there.
They look at each other, startled,
His childhood memories coming back strong,
The poignanct memories of a young childs hurts,
And of his mother just knowing, when to be there.
Copyright ©
StormyNites
... [
2006-08-30 03:14:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Unknown on
Wednesday, 30th August 2006 @ 08:29:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a really good poem.
i could feel the pain you were writing about, good job.
luvs ya!
~*Jess*~ |
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Re: First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Skillz on
Thursday, 31st August 2006 @ 01:41:41 AM AEST
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| how very touching..very nice poem |
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Re: First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by TwistedCage on
Thursday, 31st August 2006 @ 02:17:21 AM AEST
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Very touching, and very sad.
I loved the last line: "And his mother just knowing, when to be there"
A mothers intuition is priceless!
Well done, |
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Re: First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Friday, 22nd September 2006 @ 06:34:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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That one really grabs u... A lot of imagry and emotion. U can't help but feel it too. It's amazing how love can do that to you... I think personally, I'm about done with love.
Every stanza just stands out, clear for it's own right. The last too is a great sum-up.
I really like your work!
- Tim |
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