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Sand
Contributed by
trini
on
Tuesday, 22nd August 2006 @ 06:02:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
Sometimes I feel you take me
One gaze turns me
I metamorphize
A clumsy substance I despise
You hold me in your hands
As I turn to sand
And you let me run though your fingers
Total control of me
Of my movement and thoughts
A power I don’t yet understand
Eyes that paralyze
I try to remain a whole
But at a whim
I drift thought your fingers again
Laying at your feet
Only looking up for my next placement
The wind blows me to a beach
Where I loose myself in myself
Millions of others with the same story
Drawn into the ocean
In a deep blue maze
But then you call me back again
With the turning of the tides
And there I am
Whole again
Waiting for you to take me away
Copyright ©
trini
... [
2006-08-22 18:02:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sand
(User Rating: 1 )
by jerseysue on
Tuesday, 22nd August 2006 @ 06:15:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hidden in those shifting sands,
Where we walk hand in hand,
By the tide of deep blue sea,
Our secret love you there will see.
Oh this is quite an interesting work, do I sense a feeling of discontent of a secret love followed by a need of it. Or am I reading it my way. Anyway it was a really enjoyable read, I enjoyed it very much. Sue x |
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Re: Sand
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 22nd August 2006 @ 06:19:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow .. I ADORE the metaphor within. It's quite intriguing ..
"You hold me in your hands
As I turn to sand"
LOVED that! I was thoroughly captivated by the imagery here ..
great post!
~Breezy
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Re: Sand
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 22nd August 2006 @ 08:26:46 PM AEST
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I'm fighting two interpretations of this beautiful write,
helplessly in love or in love helplessly? As a cartoon cat would say, dispicable dilemma! Hmm. Great piece, masterful metaphors, enjoyed it a bunch.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: Sand
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 23rd August 2006 @ 12:06:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
your 'middle of the road' rhyming style,
(from mid-line to mid-line)
is beauty beyond the scope of things-
tone as well.. on a foreboding brink..
..very well written trini..
I enjoyed this.
B |
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Re: Sand
(User Rating: 1 )
by JockPhillips on
Monday, 28th August 2006 @ 10:50:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Not sure about this one, but some good imagery of scenery throughout parts. |
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