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The Circle
Contributed by
thesinner
on
Friday, 18th August 2006 @ 01:52:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Here is where the circle begins,
where it starts,
and where it will end.
A heart surrendered to lies,
the end, a wave of changing tides,
a life, lost in a need,
a life, a turbulent sea,
a touch to quell the need,
to tame the fire,
deep inside me.
And screams echo in my mind,
a desperate cry, the raging kind,
and I run from the shadows of my life,
and I battle all my demons, every night.
And I run blinded by reason,
until my heart pounds in my head,
and I run and stumble through darkness,
until I'm lost in the rains again,
until the cold numbs the pain,
until I feel myself again,
until I lose myself again.
And if I opened up my eyes,
Will I be blinded by your lies?
And if I let you deep inside ...again.
will you sweep the pain aside?
Or will the screams start over again?
And will I run towards the end?
And the world be lost again?
The circle remains unbroken,
and eternity of fear.
The walls of time eroding,
and nothing to hold me here,
try to stand and face my fears,
stand against the endless years.
Another battle against my tears.
A truth that disappears.
Copyright ©
thesinner
... [
2006-08-18 13:52:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Circle
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 18th August 2006 @ 03:01:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is good.
I don't usually like repetition of certain words like you have done here (again, and) but I think that this would lose something if you did it any other way.
The flow in this is superb, it begged to be read.
A good write, with some good rhymes and even a good speed, if that makes sense.
Phil xxx |
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Re: The Circle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Autumns_kiss on
Friday, 18th August 2006 @ 04:59:04 PM AEST
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| I liked the assonance at the end of the poem it really gave it a good finish. nice job |
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Re: The Circle
(User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on
Saturday, 19th August 2006 @ 03:27:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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that'd make a good song...i could see some more repetition added in there and maybe a chorus to do with the circle that (unfortunatly) never ends....good write.
--talli |
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