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Undeserved

Contributed by ButterflyInThorns on Thursday, 17th August 2006 @ 02:03:49 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

I sit alone in my room
Loneliness, pain, hate my only companions
I stare blankly at my reflection
Wishing I were someone else
Someone beautiful and caring
Someone who always knows the right thing to say

Tears pour down my face
And I rise and turn the mirror away
Can’t bear to gaze upon the grotesque features
Of my worst enemy,
Of the person who makes my life hell
Who pushes those who love me away
Of the person I hate more than anyone
Of myself

I think of my friends, those people
Who make my life worth living
But in a way
They cause me more pain
Because I don’t deserve their love

And I think of the boy
That I love beyond reason
The boy who paints my life with colour
Whose love is slowly killing me,
Because I know that I don’t deserve it
I don’t deserve any of it:
Of the amazing life I’ve been given
Of the wonderful family I have

And suddenly I become calm
I realise that I no longer have to blight
The lives of those around me
An escape.
All my problems solved
I’ve thought about death before -
In fact it’s a perpetual longing
For the silent emptiness that I so crave
But something has always held me back
I so long to jump,
But there is always a hand that has a grip on my mind
That tiny shed of consciousness
That says no,
Don’t,
People love you
And even if that love is undeserved,
It still exists
And there will be people
Who’ll miss you when you go,
People I don’t want to hurt any more than I already have
And so I wither away in the darkness
My soul tortured
My existence agony
Pain.
The only thing I do deserve.

Copyright Â© ButterflyInThorns ... [ 2006-08-17 14:03:49]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Undeserved (User Rating: 1 )
by Metikulus on Thursday, 17th August 2006 @ 03:48:40 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

your poetry is touching..keep up the good work

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