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Into Oblivion
Contributed by
Ruby2sdy
on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 06:11:36 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Once again, you lead me blindfolded into oblivion,
A dim-lit room as empty as my heart,
And it seems to me the only clear ending,
Is in the very moment that we start,
Imagination, once my friend, now deserts me,
Like the sea shuddering away from the shore,
This moment, so full of uncertainty;
Evokes the feeling that we’ve lived it before,
Now we’re stuck in an ever-turning circle,
Like a snowball spinning round and round,
A bird flying far too high;
Longing for its feet to touch the ground,
You leave, and close the door behind you;
Gone is my only chance to flee;
From my cell I can hear the shore;
Calling out to the ever-distant sea.
Copyright ©
Ruby2sdy
... [
2006-08-14 06:11:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Into Oblivion
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 08:02:30 AM AEST
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| Thats beautiful, xxxx |
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Re: Into Oblivion
(User Rating: 1 )
by ham323 on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 10:18:33 AM AEST
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| Word. :] 5stars. |
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Re: Into Oblivion
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheSpiritx on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 10:59:45 AM AEST
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Totally dig this one, Ruby.
Your imagery is magnificent and the irony absolutely makes the poem. You present a concept and counter or enhance it with something ironic to that concept, which is wonderful.
"And it seems to me the only clear ending,
Is in the very moment that we start,"
"Like the sea shuddering away from the shore" - Great image, but then, later:
"From my cell I can hear the shore;
Calling out to the ever-distant sea." - This represents, to me, an undertone of loss and regret (my favorite undertone, to be sure) even though the first mention of the sea was merely a comparison to explain your imagination. It ties it all together.
It's such a short poem, but complete. Your consistency of style, irony and format made for a truly enjoyable piece.
I am glad you posted this!
TS |
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Re: Into Oblivion
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 01:18:15 PM AEST
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Beautiful piece. I so enjoyed your use of metaphors. Thank you for sharing this wonderful write.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Into Oblivion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 09:20:02 PM AEST
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Imagination, once my friend, now deserts me,
Like the sea shuddering away from the shore,
this line hit a spot, i liked this poem v much, thanx for sharin :-) |
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Re: Into Oblivion
(User Rating: 1 )
by candysears on
Wednesday, 16th August 2006 @ 11:04:52 AM AEST
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A nice write..Very good...
God Bless!
C.S |
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Re: Into Oblivion
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Monday, 30th October 2006 @ 08:05:35 PM AEST
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I like the way this flows
well done
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