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Strike Me Down
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Saturday, 12th August 2006 @ 04:48:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Is it true you have no heart?
Not pang nor fear could stay your hand,
From dealing out the cruelest fate.
...So strike me down without a thought,
Destroy that which I cherish most,
And ravage all with savage pride.
Till nothing can reveal trust,
Just selfishness where flourished love,
And pain where memories died.
~*~
Leave nothing for the willing heart,
To take and bend to heal the void,
Your vicious gesture tore inside.
{But know that I will not remain,
Trapped in that which harbours sin,
For though in you resides just pride,
I have only love within.}
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2006-08-12 16:48:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 13th August 2006 @ 02:00:15 AM AEST
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I love the first strophe-"not pang nor fear could stay your hand" tells me something about the souless nature of the protagonist.
I get a nice person not responded to in a nice way from this. Thoroughly enjoyed.
larkspur. |
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Sunday, 13th August 2006 @ 10:39:25 AM AEST
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I don't know sis, I thought this piece flawless. I really loved the last stanza....powerful words.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 13th August 2006 @ 10:58:41 AM AEST
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i like this a lot...so full of emotion!
wiz |
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Sunday, 13th August 2006 @ 02:18:46 PM AEST
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When I feel the words reach out to me this is true art. You captured emotion and structured each word accordingly.
Michelle |
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 05:28:29 PM AEST
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Sweetie, I love this one. So raw and honest!
I still say the final stanza is noteworthy of brilliance.
It speaks of so much more than what is written and
really provides an abundance of food for thought.
If only there was a way we could truly see the
world (and any given situation) through another's
eyes .. how tremendously understanding and
caring would we then be? And how beautiful life
would then become? *sigh*
There is such a gentle and caring way about you ..
even through a tortured write such as this.
*hugs you tightly tons*
~Breezy
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 08:22:31 PM AEST
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Phil..
It's beautiful..
what a finale~ the scheme of rhyme is so gentle.. and that it couples a powerful query as well, makes this more than profound..
Truly-
B
(who's glad you're posting again : )
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by RLWildPassions on
Tuesday, 15th August 2006 @ 06:59:56 PM AEST
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| sad and lovely at the same time, shows your strength in knowing you will move on with or without... yes, you show your inner love... a heart that will not die to self or another... keep writing these excellent messages... beautiful art here phil.. title is superb... rL |
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by starry_night on
Friday, 18th August 2006 @ 07:45:02 PM AEST
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| The message in this is powerful, like a lot of your poetry, but I related to this one especially and therefore it struck a chord in me ... excellent write. J |
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Thursday, 31st August 2006 @ 11:45:13 AM AEST
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A very powerful poem, which seems to depict the struggle between a healthy love versus an unhealthy selfish prideful love. I personally feel the title is appropraite. A s to what is missing, perhaps nothing in the poem, but rather what could have been.....
Well done, Philly
Will |
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 06:23:28 PM AEST
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Dearest Phil~ how sad your write is my dear friend. Even in its sadness it is written to perfection. It shows the strength of your beautiful heart and its will to move on. An honest and emotional piece. Chin up sweet girl. Wishing you the very best always my dear friend. Take care.
love, hugs n prayers,
Sue M |
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Re: Strike Me Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 24th October 2006 @ 07:47:36 AM AEST
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I especially like the way you wrapped it up, awsome last stanza!
Hmmmm this one makes me feel like defending you...intersting. |
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