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When i close my eyes
Contributed by
AmberJoy
on
Wednesday, 9th August 2006 @ 01:09:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Why are you so confused what is it that is wrong?
People set out to break you when they see that you're not strong
Why is it that your silent and you wish to be alone
Because its hard to believe peoples words when you cant even believe your own
Why are you up all hours of the night and sleep throughout the day
Its because when my eyes are open my dreams they FADE away
When my eyes are open i have nothing LEFT to give
But when i close my eyes i can see the future ill never live
Copyright ©
AmberJoy
... [
2006-08-09 13:09:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: When i close my eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by luna_mica on
Wednesday, 9th August 2006 @ 01:46:10 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i really like the sentiment and emotion in this one. quite cool. you just might want to spend a couple more minutes retooling it and chiseling it down to a more refined poem. punctuation is usually your friend, but this poem is easily readable without the punctuation, so nice non-use of proper grammar. i think i will check out your other stuff. ciao. |
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Re: When i close my eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by chaos78 on
Wednesday, 9th August 2006 @ 02:28:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow i love this good work yhanks 4 sharing |
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Re: When i close my eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by frmpoison2static on
Wednesday, 9th August 2006 @ 03:03:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| very good...i like the meaning of the poem.. |
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Re: When i close my eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by jerseysue on
Wednesday, 9th August 2006 @ 05:03:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| A good poem, and your feelings show through. I enjoyed reading it. Sue xx |
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