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Spaces
Contributed by
keilantra
on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 06:51:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Where there ought to have been laughter
Now is only questioning silence, the tears
Accumulate on my cheeks.
Empty
space next to me
Where you could have been
(should have been).
Smiles dissolve into
Pouted lips – ‘you’ll be okay’
I want to believe, need to believe
These acidic words…
Probably meant to heal
But the hurt just g r o w s
w i d e r .
And I would tell you all this
But it’s the roaring of the engine that’s too loud
And I’m afraid you might not hear me.
With every word put down
I’m feeling less intact
But this way, there are no chances to take.
Crying into shoulders
Hoping the emotions of this cruel summer
Won’t swallow us whole.
I need to
detach myself
Because it’s come to this now.
Watching you walk away with
Your suitcases
And our memories
Empty spaces
Where you could have been
(where you should be)
Copyright ©
keilantra
... [
2006-08-07 18:51:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Spaces
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 08:24:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I'm very fond of the fifth strophe. Interpretable and poetic, very nice.
Larkspur. |
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Re: Spaces
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 08:44:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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It is one thing to miss a person when they go away - but quite another to miss their presence in moments that you're certain that were meant to exist in. In this particular instance, it is the what that is being expressed here as much as the how perfectly it is being expressed that moves me. I believe I understand this and it leaves me aching because I feel I do.
Excellent work. I know it's much bigger even than what appears on the page... but what you did get on the page is quite something.
Keep writing -
~Snemmy |
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Re: Spaces
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 11:29:54 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Overall, quite brilliant.
Something worth reading, 100%.
Bravo to you. |
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