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I Had No Freakin Idea
Contributed by
Mangos
on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 05:21:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Drugged asleep and taken advantage of
By women and their love
Moving quickly through the motions
Practice never makes a man perfect
Nothing is gained with words alone
No one cares less when the birds nest has set
They sleep in relative peace
While I stay awake and think about stupidity
Something has to give
There can’t be this much touch and take
The elasticity has stretched to breakable lengths
While tomorrow the same occurrences will unfold again
With a slight twist of a flexible wrist
It contorts to camouflage itself in the midst among the living
Whoever thought this up
Should take it away as quickly as it came
Would be much obliged if it disappeared into the thin air
Would do himself good to forget and move to the other left
Into a possible scenario he would ordinarily choose to upset
The balance of natural harmony takes a turn for the worst
In place of beauty, a horrendous display of fornication has dispersed
And no, it does not hurt
It feels good
It is now accepted
Among main circles of trust
Streaming tension fixates on muscles as they combust
A low tolerance for high pressure situations
Limited in minor obligations
The complex nature of the beast serves its ramification
There will be hell to pay if all is not returned without delay
Much will be accomplished in the next pages of paper trails
Bread left to butter the people with wealth and success to lend
The process has no end
Lost are the prophets who claimed to have made a connection
In their wake rose a monstrous and foreboding concoction
A mixture of fiery alcohol and a flaming toxin
_________
___
Copyright ©
Mangos
... [
2006-08-07 17:21:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Had No Freakin Idea
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 10:46:58 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Woosh!
I like this pondering, insightful piece (and for the record, I wanted to say "rant" in lieu of "piece" there... and would, in doing so, have certainly meant it as a compliment ---). This reminds me of Ginsberg's Howl. If you're not familiar with him and/or that work [though I wouldn't be surprised if you were] - I might suggest that you have a look (and yeh, I know... obnoxious of me to do so!). Howl can be found online and a bit of history and the impact, which was significant, of it can be found in this article:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/10/04/DDGKPF12031.DTL
There's much here (in your write) for one to sink their teeth into. Lines like:
They sleep in relative peace
While I stay awake and think about stupidity
... could provide one with the inspiration for considerable thought (assuming one doesn't foolishlessly glaze over them, I mean). There is much, too, that should be appreciated here... the uniqueness, the rhythm, the structure, and the delightfully not-entirely-contained in-your-face expression. Seriously, it's a fine balance that you've achieved here - pointed and interesting without being unnecessarily and/or unacceptably sensationalistic. Yeh... I hear echoes of Ginsberg's Howl here (which was more overt, though, to the point of being offensive to many)--- but should absolutely note that I do not intend that to mean that this is not entirely your own and not separate and distinct and fabulous in its own right.
Well done! (That is was, frankly, is the reason why I rambled on so...)
~Snemmy
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Re: I Had No Freakin Idea
(User Rating: 1 )
by Keilantra on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 11:58:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is very well writen, mangos.
the 4th and 5th stnzas were a bit of a masterpiece, you have great imagery and vocab usage, and this poem is very flexible.
great write.
xXx
~kei |
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