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Speak
Contributed by
keilantra
on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 12:11:47 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Summer is the earth's hot glory.
Sweat covered me much more effectively than my clothes.
I couldn't think in this drought.
Looking for inspiration around me,
All I saw was patches of dried up grass.
I wondered if they felt the burn.
I watched the charming boy-next-door
Wanting, if nothing else, to write for him
And bring back his dad with my words.
He looked so lonely
And I wanted to take the pain
Out of his black suit.
If only he would tell me how death feels.
It was emotions running rampant,
Blood boiling in all-time highs
And everyone swaggering around with their secrets.
Nothing was said (It was all in the eyes)
We were all waiting for that autumn breeze.
Too hot for tongues
And no-one dared to speak.
Copyright ©
keilantra
... [
2006-08-07 00:11:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Speak
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 12:39:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The truth of ANY matter.. written or not, is powerful enough - but that you've given a "single" moment of it here, for us to read, is daring and most confident my friend.. I ENVY you in that respect.
Humbled.. I am-
Billy |
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Re: Speak
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 05:15:37 AM AEST
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| good write, excellent imagery, well done :-) |
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Re: Speak
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 02:42:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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OMG kei! This was bloody brilliant!! Good grief!
So much lies in this metaphorical beauty! I can't
even isolate a solitary thought or line that I felt above
the others. . they all spoke to me with whispered
intent and captivating genius.
Believe me when I say, excellent, EXCELLENT write.
Worthy of much praise.
~Breezy |
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Re: Speak
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 09:27:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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My word!!! This is extraordinary!
I'm very drawn to your work as a result of reading a couple of your pieces tonight. This particular work speaks loudly to me. Your expression here is divine... there are lines in this piece that blow me away. THIS should have gotten so much more attention - those that have not found their way to this page just don't know what they are missing!
To be entirely honest, I'm rather thrilled (selfishly, I must admit) to know that you posted a good many writes here that I have yet to read. I feel rather neglectful for not having delved into your work more fully... oh, but I will!
Keep going, kei... and I'll keep coming back.
Impressed,
~Snemmy |
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Re: Speak
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Sunday, 13th August 2006 @ 09:21:20 PM AEST
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This poem was pointed out for best poem of the day. I see why. What a well written piece here. Thick with emotion. Capturing much with your words. Thank you for sharing.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Speak
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 12:10:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a beautiful piece of work, indeed. The theme's freshly, gracefully covered - poems on loss, even (maybe especially) in third-person, dealing with someone else's pain, are by no means rare, but they're rarely done well. Often, the writer tries to say too much, or tries so hard to invoke the other's mindset of sadness that no connection is really reached. But you've done well, in that the poem deals primarily with, originates from one might say, in your own feelings, thus it's more grounded. Also, you admit through the wording that you're only brushing the edges of the situation. Which is all we can ever really do writing, I suppose. Anyway, that was the long way of saying I like this work, and was refreshed as well as moved by it.
Keep it up.
Andrew |
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