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My Gift
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Wednesday, 26th July 2006 @ 06:43:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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This is my gift...
To hold these words inside my mind,
While knowing I will never find,
A way to place them on the page.
Beneath my skin the feelings churn,
Heartbreak chills and anger burns,
Yet know I will, when facing pain,
I'll never get to write again.
The lines will fester in the wounds,
From words I trapped each time before,
My life is wrapped in poetry,
And it's killing me a little more.
This is my gift,
To live and die,
In every single tear I cry,
And utter not a poet's words.
I cannot live in line or verse,
They suffocate the truth from me,
And through my eyes it's plain to see,
This silence is my curse.
This is my gift.
To hold these words inside my mind,
While knowing I will never find,
A way to place them on the page.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2006-07-26 18:43:52] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by RLWildPassions on
Wednesday, 26th July 2006 @ 08:19:43 PM AEST (User
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good poem... good to write out your thoughts, keep a journal, then go on to something else.. come back later.. you will have new eyes ... closets and suitcases lol are filled with thoughts.. here... my company that never leaves in the guest room lol...I go grab em and write my poems now and then.. otherwise.. i've moved on... you did very well to explain ... |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 26th July 2006 @ 10:52:34 PM AEST (User
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Phil..
I've always thought it, brilliant enough, to find the ability to escape the thought and tremors of wirter's block, by, writing it all out - thus, relieving yourself, at least temporarily, of such a nemisis~
I've been captive many times.. and have, more often than not, found much proficiency in writing about, how: "you cannot"
I thought your rendition was wonderful.. you haven't lost a thing.
Truly..
Billy |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by fielding88 on
Thursday, 27th July 2006 @ 12:47:03 AM AEST (User
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To write a poem about something like this just gives it an instant originality, and it's almost like spitting in the face of writer's block, limitations of vocabulary, what-have-you. It's almost something like a gift to write about it, if I do say so myself :P
I liked how much you changed it up with each stanza in terms of rhymes (the best flow out of them all would probably be the fourth stanza, as I'm assuming its third line would simply roll off the tongue had I been reading it aloud), and your use of the repetition, it was a very pleasant read, lol, despite the fact that it's addressing something that can drive most people insane... |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 27th July 2006 @ 02:25:33 AM AEST (User
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Well Philly girl
I love this poem i thought you did a great job
love and hugs |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Thursday, 27th July 2006 @ 07:43:53 PM AEST (User
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Hey Phil~
my sweet friend sometimes there is so much we want to say, but we simply can't find the way to say them. They go round and round inside our heads, but when it comes to writing them down we simply can't . You have done a superb job with this write Phil~
You've a very special Miss who I know will make a strong come back. You've always had it in you Philly Girl~
love, hugs n prayers,
sue m |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Willofree on
Thursday, 27th July 2006 @ 07:44:16 PM AEST (User
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A powerful write, full of emotion and vivid imagery. You certainly do have a wonderful gift of expression. I've read too many of your poems to believe you don't express your self fully and artisticly.
Well done Philly
Will |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 27th July 2006 @ 07:48:23 PM AEST (User
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Yet somehow you have brilliantly got your thoughts upon the page. You wrote it and you finished it. Awesome poem, Phyllis.
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Nazmythian on
Saturday, 29th July 2006 @ 03:14:35 PM AEST (User
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Oh Philly ... I just found this one.
"This is my gift.
To hold these words inside my mind,
While knowing I will never find,
A way to place them on the page."
I can't see this as a block ... I see it as things that that could be said and are second thought due to the effect they may have. Sometimes the greatest gift we can have is the holding of our own tongue; to keep ourselves from saying the things that might cut the worst. I may be wrong in my interpretation ... but it comes across to me that way.
* Uber Squeezies Hun *
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 09:49:47 AM AEST (User
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Phill while your talking and explaining how your not good and while i ain't listening i'm gonna read some beautiful poetry, lol. oops i just did lol.another magnificent peice of beautiful writting. by the not so good poet known only as phill lol. Lovely work as always
*****
(((((Phil)))))
Ben |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 8th August 2006 @ 08:02:56 PM AEST (User
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Oh Phil ...I’m so sorry I am so late to come to this ..
What a beautiful expression of the perplexities of writer’s block.
Sometimes, I believe that it is more a mind block ..
... once you start, the flood gates open, allowing the words to be
“found” once again. Your author’s note does you an injustice
dear girl, as I noticed ENORMOUS feeling flowing throughout
your words .. without exception.
*hugs you tons*
~Breezy
(who must positively reiterate the words of Billy ..
you most definitely have not lost a thing ~)
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 8th August 2006 @ 10:32:17 PM AEST (User
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and so, we wait- ..in due time-
Patiently,
Billy |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 12th August 2006 @ 01:01:36 PM AEST (User
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There is so much in this piece that I could excerpt here, that I could comment on... but this:
This is my gift,
To live and die,
In every single tear I cry,
And utter not a poet's words.
... more than the remainder, spoke so loudly to me, perhaps (and I say 'perhaps' because I changed my mind with each reading it seems).
I agree with Marc's comments so entirely. The changing structure, the repetition, both work so very well here. So, too, does the way in which you've managed to say so much that you didn't actually express here. (I hope that makes sense *wink*)
Finding, always, that there is much to be pondered in the things that remain unsaid,
~Snemmy
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by Baronhawk on
Sunday, 10th September 2006 @ 08:44:08 PM AEST (User
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This is your gift and what a gift it is. Technically it represents an education, well to me at least, in the forms and structure of the poetic verse. Well put, apt and inspiring. It begs for experimentation. But on the other side, in the realms of the immaterial...in the nuance and meanings it does seem to bring about another way at looking at the phrase "some things are better left unsaid". For often certain things are better left unvovalized and at times like that they are the greatest gift one can give either for the intensity of emotions that travels without words through thoughts or just the look and lustre of one's eyes or the quiet undertanding of a friend or lover. Silence and understanding can be the greatest gift sometimes rather than words...even in poetry it seems. It also represents a surrender I guess and a sacrifice for a poet or a poetess to hold the words inside of them is perhaps the greatest sacrifice and surrender....for it represents an acceptance of something without expressing it....quite a feat for one whose emotions runs true and courses through one's writings. Well this is my take...my interpretation of your most lovely gift. |
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Re: My Gift
(User Rating: 1 ) by MemeCaroline on
Tuesday, 8th January 2008 @ 02:38:54 PM AEST (User
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What a talent for words you have. My ability to write feels so "elementary" in comparison. |
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