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The Promise
Contributed by
bluewolf
on
Tuesday, 18th July 2006 @ 11:56:47 AM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
We made a promise once,
Do you remember?
We promised that,
We'd be friends forever,
We said we'd never
forget each other.
Three years have passed,
Since that day.
I haven't forgotten,
I stayed true to my word.
But you've forgotten,
You can't even remember
Who I am
I tried to say hi once,
but you just walked away.
I guess forever's not as long
As everyone thought.
It took only three years
To make you forget.
Though you've forgotten
I've never forget
Out promise we made
That didn't last forever
I'll never forget you my friend
I'll remember you forever
No matter how long forever is.
Copyright ©
bluewolf
... [
2006-07-18 11:56:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Promise
(User Rating: 1 )
by jtkzlimz on
Tuesday, 18th July 2006 @ 06:39:37 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I liked it, it was sweet but sad and I pictured this whole jr high friendship and then going into high school no longer friends. I enjoyed it. |
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Re: The Promise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Wednesday, 19th July 2006 @ 06:53:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Not bad. I liked the subject, the expression, despite the occasional spelling and grammatical errors (I've never forget-whaa? - do you mean I would never forget? and Out (Our) promise we made. The trick with grammar and spelling in poetry is to make it seamless, so that people forget the words and go to the heart of the thing - even the greatest poems can be undone with sloppy phrasing and lack of a spell check.
Anyway, the sentiment and experience is one I share with you (probably because I'm so pedantic). It's pretty hurtful when someone once close to you disregards you like this.
Spike |
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