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Servio Vester
Contributed by
slayer_015
on
Sunday, 16th July 2006 @ 10:41:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Speak and I shall listen,
casually,
intently,
sadly.
Your tears are words,
trapped,
silent,
cold.
Your sigh is like the rain,
calming,
waking,
feeling.
Your perfume impales me,
encapsulating,
enthralling,
enslaving.
Your soul is disguised,
ephemeral,
surreal,
alive.
Your wicked kiss stains my lips,
shamelessly,
intoxicating,
binding.
I implode when without you,
crumbling,
desolate
insane.
Copyright ©
slayer_015
... [
2006-07-16 22:41:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Servio Vester
(User Rating: 1 )
by Keilantra on
Sunday, 16th July 2006 @ 11:01:00 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
absract in the deepest sense. god use of spacing.
Your perfume impales me,
encapsulating,
enthralling,
enslaving.
the first line of this os very capturing.
Your wicked kiss stains my lips,
shamelessly,
intoxicating,
binding.
the addistion of the word wicked makes it a bit cliche, but the rest of teh stanza makes it better
I implode when without you,
crumbling,
desolate
insane.
great edning
xXx
~kei
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Re: Servio Vester
(User Rating: 1 )
by sohangme on
Monday, 17th July 2006 @ 12:39:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is very good....keep at it |
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Re: Servio Vester
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th July 2006 @ 03:11:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I enjoyed this very much.
It is refreshing to see something out of the expected...
Sharp in structure, although content -gentle.
I particularly adored:
"Your tears are words,
trapped,
silent,
cold."
There is more left for the imagination to see.
A very sweet little piece!
:) |
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