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Awake but not wanting to be
Contributed by
slickfrank
on
Wednesday, 12th July 2006 @ 11:57:35 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Awake but not wanting to be
I wake up everyday now to be told that I'm not fast enough, not smart enough, not strong enough not good enough for anything, everyday I wake up and LOSE. I never wake up and WIN. I am constantly told who I am, what I am, told what I should be, what I should want, what i should wear. I like when someone asks who I am, asks what I like or believe ,but no one cares. I AM a gentle soul not strong for this world because in this world you must be strong (I'm not suicidal you stupid *****). I am Invisible-boy now to those around me and am only visible when I have done something "wrong". I am so tired not only physically but mentally. but every time i want to leave every time i want to throw everything away every time I WANT to escape and not be afraid anymore i realize how lucky I am and I realize all the opportunities I have I'm back to square one at nothing AGAIN *****. I look at my situation but there is no way to better it no amount of work, school or anything. But this pull, this guilt eats away at me everyday. everyday it eats and eats and eats, and now I am the walking corpse, the nothing. But I’ll take it anyways, It's what I've always done. Because it's better to be the alive nothing then the dead nothing for the simple personal fact that I don't know whether there's music when death arrives and if there is, is it good music?
Copyright ©
slickfrank
... [
2006-07-12 11:57:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Awake but not wanting to be
(User Rating: 1 )
by midnight_writer on
Wednesday, 12th July 2006 @ 03:46:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i love this.
piece of advice - look those people right in the eyes and tell them who you are. tell them...tell them they don't know, and they won't know. tell them who you are. don't wait for them to ask
Midnight~Amaya |
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Re: Awake but not wanting to be
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 12th July 2006 @ 09:00:18 PM AEST
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It absolutely broke my heart to read ur poem. It brought a tear to my eye. I'm so sorry you have been suffering at the hands of others. Do not be afraid to be who you are. You are special because you are you. Don't let anybody put u down or anyone hurt your feelings. You have many equal rights just like everyone else. Hold ur head high and be mighty proud of who you are. All the best to you and may ur days ahead be much brighter.
warm hugs,
sue m |
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