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Dogs are Such Filthy Beasts
Contributed by
spike
on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 09:24:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
PetPoems
|
Dogs are such vile creatures,
With motley, over-bred features
Tramping mud all over the bed, after
Rolling in things that are long past dead
They’ll chase you when you are violently ill
And nose in vomit, eat their fill!
They smell despite a regular bath,
And soil every concrete path
Their bodies curled up as if in pain,
Then they sniff it - again and again
They’re prone to slobber, whine and drool,
Like some poor, demented fool
Letting off the most disgusting farts,
And spend hours licking their private parts
Dogs must be dumb as toast,
They’ll greedily scoff the family roast
And choke themselves on their chains,
Subservience must have shrunk their brains
So many of them are ugly mutts,
Their heads as puckered as their butts
Dry humping the neighbour’s leg,
Or whizzing all over the party keg
Dogs bark and bark till all hours,
Then chew the heads off your prize flowers
They snuffle and snog your balls,
And develop obsessions with your smalls
They shed hair like autumn leaves,
Deserting you to scratch and sneeze
While they smell the bum of another canine,
Like they’re savouring some damn fine wine
Their tongues lolling from their jaws, as they
Scratch you with their ragged claws,
Clickety-clacking over the lino
With breath that would stun a wino,
Disgusting, dirty filthy beasts
Awww, c’mere, you………………..
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2006-07-08 21:24:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dogs are Such Filthy Beasts
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 9th July 2006 @ 12:35:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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LMAO!!
As I am quite the avid dog lover, I found everything here (from the author's note/quote, to the laugh-out-loud lines, and the accompanying pictures) to be quite amusing!!!
As always; a much welcomed smile inducer you are Spike : )
Scorp. |
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Re: Dogs are Such Filthy Beasts
(User Rating: 1 )
by evolon on
Sunday, 9th July 2006 @ 04:16:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i clicked to read, didnt know what to expect! but to my delight in every dirrection ya pointed out all the things that just tickle me bout my mutt....lol... snog ya balls...lmao |
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Re: Dogs are Such Filthy Beasts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 10th July 2006 @ 01:41:04 AM AEST
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Spike~
LMAO you had me nearly busting at the seams. A most enjoyable and amusing write. I'm so glad I stopped by ur pages today. Thanks so much for the laugh I needed it 2day.
love n hugs from ur oz mate,
sue m |
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Re: Dogs are Such Filthy Beasts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jeff_Scott_Morehead on
Monday, 10th July 2006 @ 06:52:43 AM AEST
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The pictures really make the write...
Excellent my friend.
Jeff |
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Re: Dogs are Such Filthy Beasts
(User Rating: 1 )
by poet_in_waiting on
Wednesday, 12th July 2006 @ 08:42:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh My gawd !!!! That is awsome, funny, true, and rhymes good too!!
I can't even pick a favorite line .. but ball snogging is pretty funny.
thank you thank you .. i have a few dog owners that need to see this one.
Cheers
sean |
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Re: Dogs are Such Filthy Beasts
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Wednesday, 2nd August 2006 @ 10:24:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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well, i can pick a favorite line...
Their heads as puckered as their butts
hilarious!
gt :) |
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