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Alone
Contributed by
Anna
on
Sunday, 9th February 2003 @ 05:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I lie awake again tonight
Just thinking of what you might be doing at this time.
And as I watch the moon shine into my room,
I wonder if you're doing the same thing I'm doing.
I sit on my window sill and look out in the sky,
I wish upon a star as a tear falls from my eye.
I ask God to give me the courage that I've never had,
I pray to him to lend me the strength that I want so bad.
I think of what would happen if the whole world disappeared,
If everything just ended and you didn't know I cared.
Yet I can never bring myself to utter those thoughts out-loud,
In fear that I'll be brokenhearted and fall down from my ninth cloud.
I awake in the morning to the beauty of sunlight on my face,
Wishing silently that I could run far away from this place.
I'm only one lonely night away from falling apart,
Too bad I can't just tell you how I feel, I've never been that smart.
I walk alone this evening just thinking of a maybe.
Wondering of what I could do and how it all could be.
If I could just cast a spell so that we could switch places for just one day,
So that you would know everything without me saying and it would be okay.
If you only saw the same thing that I do
Each time I stare right up you.
I only wish that you would see
Through the illusions, to the real me.
Maybe that would solve it all and maybe then you would finally know
Of all these overwhelming emotions that I've been too scared to show.
I don't know what to do, I just don't know how to let it out.
How to make you aware that I want to be the girl that you have dreamt about.
Maybe if you felt this pain that I have burning deep within.
This awful feeling that I know you couldn't even imagine.
Maybe then you would understand what I've been going through,
By holding it all in and not even hinting it to you.
I sit at the foot of my bed again right now,
Daydreaming of telling you, wishing I knew how.
I look out in the stars that seem to be very bright tonight.
Then as I feel them water I shut my eyes so tight.
I pray again, to God my same old prayer
I tell Him that I can't handle it, it's too much for me to bare.
I ask Him what I should do and if it is too late
Should I tell you now or leave it up to fate?
My eyes flutter open as I wait for His answer,
Has my chance passed me by, should I have told you sooner?
I see a shooting star fly across the open sky,
For the first time in forever I feel myself start to smile.
I don't know what it means, but I make a wish on it anyway.
I desire just a simple way to make the confusion go away,
An answer to my lifelong search to find someone like you.
Something to give me a push and to guide me through.
But, when I turn around there is no one there to help.
I'm all by myself this time as I remember the feeling I know too well.
Emptiness in my heart and seclusion from the world outside.
I feel hatred toward myself for making all my emotions run and hide.
I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me it'll all be all right,
I want someone to wake up with and go to sleep with every night.
I just need to feel like I have a small meaning in this world,
I have to know that when I get out of bed I have something to live for.
I long for knowing who I really am for just one single day
And recognize what I'm wanting in my life and to not shy away.
I crave the meaning of true love and someone to share my views.
To be understanding and encouraging to me through and through.
I have this nightmare that I'll never fall in love with someone who will fall in love with me.
That I will always feel like I'm on my own, with no one here to believe.
My whole body feels unstable and it's beginning to shut down,
My vision is clouded as my knees buckle and I fall to the ground.
I can't go on without a purpose in the world around,
I wish I wasn't so normal and that I stood out in the crowd.
How can I be so ordinary yet so very strange?
Why are my emotions out of my control and impossible to tame?
No one understands the thoughts that constantly run through my brain,
They think I'm so much different than I am, they think that I'm insane.
I'm just a little girl trying to find myself, which is utterly impossible.
I'm beginning to think it's hopeless and that my mind is really not able.
I wonder constantly what my plan is in the road ahead.
Does God have a goal for me or am I doomed instead?
What if I don't ever know what I am to do?
What if I am always confused with things like me and you.
Will you ever know how I feel about you?
Will I ever understand if what I think is true?
If I crawl deep within myself and blind myself with pain,
Can I ever possibly see passed the clouds and passed the rain?
Will I ever truly be alright?
Am I strong enough to win this fight?
So many questions that need to be answered for me,
So many lessons that I need to comprehend and see.
I stand up to my feet and wipe away the sweat and tears.
I have so much to learn in my coming years.
I don't know how I will ever survive it out there all on my own,
But maybe someday someone will join me in my struggle and I won't have to be alone.
Copyright ©
Anna
... [
2003-02-09 17:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Sunday, 9th February 2003 @ 09:20:14 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Oh wow...that was worth the long read! It's truly beautiful, it touched me. So much of it says exactly how I feel, and all of it is utterly gorgeous. So many emotions, and worded beautifully. I love it!!
~ Moonlit Angel |
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Re: Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Sunday, 9th February 2003 @ 10:01:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| That was an awesome poem. Trust me, I've been through those feelings. Having so much to say and unable to say them. |
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Re: Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Trisha on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 10:18:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| This Is Long And Cute. |
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Re: Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by allforyou on
Saturday, 5th February 2005 @ 05:15:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Amazing |
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