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Ten
Contributed by
wizard
on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 12:24:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
One day of love withheld again,
Once more to guide my lonely pen
Two days until a broken heart
Two ways to leave, yet can’t depart
Three hour tears for love withheld
Three simple thoughts; all else is quelled
Four hours ripping poems apart
Four written lines; where sadness starts
Five seconds ‘til I think of you
Five more ‘til I realize we’re through
Six times again to love I’ve tried
Six million more, yet still denied
Seven days 'til I realize it’s true
Seven ways of losing you
Eight times again a loving sigh
Eight times I’ve sought this loving lie
Nine nights without a single thought
Nine dreams about this love for naught
Ten pairs of lines of love amiss
Ten years will pass, still I’ll write of this
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2006-07-07 12:24:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by jerseysue on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 01:20:48 PM AEST
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| I love this theme. It says everything it needs to. Love , loss and memories. I enjoyed it. Sue x |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ruby2sdy on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 01:59:47 PM AEST
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Unusual, but very clever, loved the theme, sentiment and layout... once again, wiz, you've impressed me!!!
2sdyx |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 03:17:21 PM AEST
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I agree with sue x very enjoyable to read .
you did awsome job
hugs |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 05:35:37 PM AEST
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very cool write wiz
very good job
of keeping the flow
of the poem going
very intresting and
nice to read |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 08:57:31 PM AEST
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I loved IT.......
Yet, its So SAD!
Paul, Im sorry the love you had,,,, went
Know someone and some how YOU will find it one.day. Actually quit looking.,,,its likely to be right there, when you have NO CLUE>
Your a talented writer, and give from the heart. And not only the heart, yet with inner that shows, its more.
Keep smiling
Brew~ |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 11:13:22 PM AEST
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Hey Wiz~
I love the way you have presented this. It's different , but the contents are impressive as always. Sadness, heart break, love & loss all poured onto the page. I'm so sorry your heart is wounded my dear friend. May u find a kind loving soul who shall be worthy of ur heart & love~
Best of wishes to u always Wiz~
love, hugs n prayers,
sue m |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 11th July 2006 @ 09:35:19 AM AEST
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I must say Wiz; I like this quite a bit!
The style is original, and it's catchy all to hell, and furthermore; it begs a second read. Not a typical lost love write, and while the 'typical' ones are enjoyable to read; so is this new and refreshing twist you've posted here.
Scorp. |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 11th July 2006 @ 09:37:21 PM AEST
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I particularly love the last two lines. That last one, in particular, really tugs at the reader. Lost love is, unfortunately, such a common experience that lost love poems can (an often, do) seem rather similar. The structure here is obviously different - which sets it apart from others. It is, though, that last line that made the real difference for me... it become then, something more than just a momentary reflection on the end of a relationship. It became then, something more moving.
Nicely done -
~Snem |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 11th July 2006 @ 11:30:46 PM AEST
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Paulie..
I'm not sure what I can say that would gratify my own affection for this.. (and I can't tell you how sorry I am, that I've just read it this instant-)
suffice it to mention the most vital:
your numerical and concurrent theme is brilliant bro-
..this is lengendary for that aspect alone-
and that I know this work.. intimately, makes it, just that..(legendary) all the more.
Everything clicks perfectly..and not just the rhyme alone.. but the emotion behind it as well..
and the simplicity is favoring, to say the least.. a true testament-
I've got to conclude, that this is, by me, your best work to date~
superb Paulie.. utterly brilliant-
ten on the scale.. truly-
Sincerely.. and with the utmost in admiration,
*Billy
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadclown on
Thursday, 13th July 2006 @ 08:36:21 AM AEST
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| Read this a few times now. Really liked this. Been flitting round reading some other stuff by other people.Not putting anyone down but I was getting a bit bored. This one woke me up. Cheers |
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Re: Ten
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 8th September 2006 @ 10:08:09 AM AEST
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This captivating piece of heart-wrenching words and unique form brings new meaning to the phrase, "Count to ten." Wonderful work, Paul.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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