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vaulnerable

Contributed by hearts4pain on Wednesday, 5th July 2006 @ 11:20:46 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

i dont know why im feeling like this.
im hurting mentally but i have a ache in my stomache
everything feels wrong.
"my world" i've built is crashing down all around me,
or maybe im just breaking down and running out.
there is a lump in my throat, my eyes are dry, not one single tear.
its all building up inside.
i see my scars. they seem to be getting old....
i dont even have the strength to renew them.
its nice to close my eyes and see nothing but black.
but my heart is beating so hard in my chest and i can feel it more than anything.
i dont know my future and i hate not knowing.
sometimes i wish i couldn't feel.
cuz "numbness" never occurs. thats *********
but my mind sometimes goes blank.
why do i exist? i wish this wasnt real.
besides what use is it to have a broken mind with a body full of lust and a soul full of fear?
and i cant even start to believe that there is something more out there than
life. death. and all the inbetweens.
love is infatuation.
hurt is forever.
the devils on our shoulders.
it lives with us.
god is in our faith,
but sometimes we dont belive.
and in doupt temptations are real.
sinful thoughts. sinful actions.
guilt and regret are my hell.
i gave you my heart. and now im full of all these 2-sided emotions
i dont know which ones to believe.
im so lost in myself.
whats a heart for anyways?
isnt it to keep the blood running in my veins?
the ones i've cut to watch them bleed.
how is it possible to give your heart away?
i guess i was suppose to make a copy.
or should i have kept myself to ME.
cuz now i have nothing left it seems.
cuz all those dreams and goals and futures are fantasies.
ones ill prolly never live to see.
and my worst fear is my dying day, wishing i would have lived
can you keep a secret?
can you keep a promise?
i really dont know at all...
but i think its you.
whoever that might be....
cuz it all seems to fade away when you walk up to me and say
"hey babe"
i think im a lil naieve and a lil stupid.
and i know just the thing to describe me...
vaulnerable

Copyright © hearts4pain ... [ 2006-07-05 23:20:46]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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