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Hard Roads to Travel
Contributed by
spike
on
Wednesday, 5th July 2006 @ 08:59:13 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
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Abash’d the devil stood, And felt how awful goodness is, and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely. Paradise Lost. Book iv. Line 846.
I turned away from gorgeous light
When my heart was rent that night
By Fortune’s arrow in hard flight
Which took my love into dark night…
Bitter, bitter taste of mourning
no lesser for the dawning of the days
that follow blindly
without an echo of relief,
from the awful pains of grief.
they said that I was tending,
not giving to the mending
too afraid to put aside
the memories deep inside,
too selfish to let go
of the feelings born of you
in their fragile crystal basket,
like you in earthen casket…
So.
I turned to the Bible,
the Koran and the Torah
but I raged at all the gods,
so I listened to the Buddha
-but I held fast to my grief
so that none gave me relief.
life tasted as of ashes
and consolation felt like lashes,
so I turned to the needle
and the pipe in addict’s cradle
and the bottle, yes the bottle
and I felt the spirits battle
for the soul inside the flesh
for the rose amongst the trash, and...
Darkness won.
the sweet, sweet touch of evil
and the awfulness of good.
I know I shouldn’t say it,
and by God I hoped and prayed it
wasn’t the fluid in my veins
-but hope drowned in all my pains.
and when the last drop dried to vapour
all that left was blackest anger,
and a raging at the skies for
all life’s hurtful lies, and...
Well.
For a time I was a devil,
a dry and hollow vessel
I couldn’t feel or show compassion
and I gave out hurtful lessons
to those who tried to comfort
and strangers, for the sake of it,
driven by a hateful venom
that felt strong and hard and darksome,
until that stinging sense of numbness
told me this state was all but hopeless…
So.
I let go of all my grief,
and cried till raw relief
had drained most of the bile
and I found I could still smile.
so I made all my contritions
in my actions and confessions,
and I prayed to Mother Fortune
that my heart would start to mend soon
and I wept upon your gravestone
saying goodbye to guilt’s maelstrom,
taking my first step on the journey
back to love and peace, and uncertainty.
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2006-07-05 08:59:13] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hard Roads to Travel
(User Rating: 1 ) by poet_in_waiting on
Wednesday, 5th July 2006 @ 10:12:17 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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holy cow ... this was an epic poem done with incredibe poetic efficiency ... great story of a powerfully painful journey
awsome awsome awsome
loved it
cheers
sean |
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Re: Hard Roads to Travel
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jeff_Scott_Morehead on
Wednesday, 5th July 2006 @ 10:39:41 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great write Spike.
excellent read.
jeff |
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Re: Hard Roads to Travel
(User Rating: 1 ) by jerseysue on
Wednesday, 5th July 2006 @ 01:25:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is a magnificent poem. It is full of the emotions of death, sadness , anger, and healing. Masterfully done my friend. God bless you, these words I can identify with so much. Sue x |
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Re: Hard Roads to Travel
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 5th July 2006 @ 08:15:14 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Spike~
A painful and emotional write. You have captured your utmost inner thoughts and feelings and scribed them for us to feel what you are feeling. Life is a journey and along the roads we experience tradegies, heart break, death, loss and along it we travel the path of healing to help us to overcome all these other emotions that we have felt or are feeling.
Taking my first step on the journey
Back to love and peace, and uncertainty.
Wishing you a peaceful and healing journey my friend~ All the best to you~
love, hugs n prayers,
sue m |
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Re: Hard Roads to Travel
(User Rating: 1 ) by shelby on
Wednesday, 5th July 2006 @ 10:05:28 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A deeply emotional and moving write my friend. There isn't one part of it I can name as a favorite because the entire work is excellant!
Michelle |
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Re: Hard Roads to Travel
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 9th July 2006 @ 06:29:36 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Okay my friend~
I have been to this write more times than I can count. I still have not found
words enough to adequately express the emotions and truths you have awakened.
I hate to say the generic, "great write" or "profound piece here", but you have
rendered me speechless with this one. Damn, this is good stuff!
Throughout the piece I found myself in complete awe and respect of your bravery.
From start to finish there is an undeniable "growth" . Your insight is astounding sometimes.
And your talent to extract thought in such an amazingly poetic way is brilliant.
You have honed this skill well. And as for the depth and wisdom within ... compelling, spike.
And quite impressive.
ever humbled ..
~Breezy |
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