Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	23-November 21:22:47 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

One way street

Contributed by mindset on Friday, 30th June 2006 @ 02:38:11 PM in AEST
Topic: dedicatedpoems

Feel that cool breeze blowing
A whisper from a past forgot
Sometimes walking alone
Thoughts run free and simplify
And old friend of past
A feel you never knew
Just walks on in
He seems kind and true
Understands you
Inside and out nothing but a vulnerability
That is you
So your door opens
And he just walks on in
A promise across a table
Life so soon pure difference
No longer inside looking out
Your time becomes
Outside looking in
Thats ok for years ahead
Not taking much in on what is changing
LIfe is feel and what do you care
Never had this before
No more slow we is a superstar
So high no despair
No Holding back
Look at them we know it all
Who are you
So much change didnt see the become
So busy pushing forward
Only on the run
How many people get left behind
Signed a contract i dont mind
Look in their eyes so much hate
In their minds so much mistake
What have i become

Copyright © mindset ... [ 2006-06-30 14:38:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: One way street (User Rating: 1 )
by Socks on Friday, 30th June 2006 @ 06:39:07 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I felt that you weren't getting your idea across quite clearly enough. (In some places it was also a little confusing what you were trying to say).

There were a few forced rhymes I thought; and this stanza I really didn't like: "Just walks in on/ he seems kind and true/understands you". It feels really forced to me.

Maybe you should try to write this poem in free verse - just free and not worrying about rhymes or line breaks or anything (tell yourself a short story with a few short sentences?) and then try to convert that into this poem.

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com