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uncomfortably numb

Contributed by poeteeza on Friday, 30th June 2006 @ 05:50:33 AM in AEST
Topic: abstract

Uncomfortably Numb

One hundred words I've written
One thousand sounds I've uttered
One million answers to but
one billion questions I"ve asked...
Many many years have passed, and I still feel the same
alone, abandoned, afraid, baffled
by one hundred thousand memories-
But I am in a better place now
I don't have to reminiss, but I do - often
Remembering all but the pleasant days...
My altered states of mind transcend all that is lovely or good
into sorrow and regret.
This world doesn't have an "outlook" to me
it's just a blurr-
everything- life- love- joy- pain-
all my life I had looked and looked.
But I've stopped looking,
because now I'm seeing-
seeing every guilt-tainted memory, every painful consequence,
every dishonorable mistake, every bitter-sweet end.
It's nothing-
or it's something I no longer value.
Mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally-
I've been robbed, and stripped bare
then sent out to find shelter,
somewhere... anywhere... out there...
Yet I carry on and on and on
I continue my struggle,
I may find validation in things I shouldn't -
like comparisons and dysfunction
but I am not affected at all..
I am completely numb.
The pain doesn't hurt anymore,
The disappointment doesn't matter anymore,
The confusion doesn't even confuse anymore.
I am as hard as steal,
and I am thankful,
I'm thankful for
everything I am NOT

Copyright © poeteeza ... [ 2006-06-30 05:50:33]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: uncomfortably numb (User Rating: 1 )
by a7x36 on Saturday, 1st July 2006 @ 01:56:08 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this is a sad point to reach, i really hope you find someone or something to liven things up and help you feel again

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