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Relief of a Blade

Contributed by Aeris030388 on Saturday, 24th June 2006 @ 11:24:07 AM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

Oh, sweet agonizing ecstacy.
The white hot needle burns my skin.
I leave patterns in welts and burns,
future reminders of present sin.
Loneliness ravages my soul,
digging deeper and deeper into my humanity
and widening my emotional black hole.
When will a Saviour come?
And give me a Sanctuary to believe in?
When will someone come to save me
from what lies within?
Should I change from needle to blade
and end it all in a sweet swift stroke
of cold steel against scarred skin?
Or should I blow out my own candle
with the force of a .22 rifle?
Around me lie the beliefs of yesterday
and the hopes of tomorrow.
Is tomorrow really worth it
if all that awaits is more suffering and sorrow?
My smile hides athousand tears that will never
be shed.
I paint myself black
and wait for the night
when my Dark self comes through.
The Dark me shows me what I am really capable to do.
She frightens me, the Dark one.
She forces me to do things that can never be undone.
I yell, scream and cry form within her
but as always she pays me no heed.
When I'm finally free again
I'm left to repair the damage she has done.
What relief is there for someone like me?
It is my weakness that I cannot silently bear this pain.
It is my shame
that someone who looks like me and sounds like me
causes such chaos in my domain.
Am i wrong for being scared?
Am I wrong for feeling emotion?
This world demands perfection which I cannot give.
I crave freedom, release and the will to live.
May someone free me soon and give me a safe place to go.
Or, when its over, may someone find this and
remember the girl - lost and afraid -
who sought herfreedom and relief
in the cold serenity of a blade.

Copyright © Aeris030388 ... [ 2006-06-24 11:24:07]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Relief of a Blade (User Rating: 1 )
by -xhaleyx- on Saturday, 24th June 2006 @ 03:11:51 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Of all of the poems i have read like this, i am amazed by this one. I have never read any that actually describe how it actually feels, and how to get rid of the pain. This is simply amazing. I know what your going through exactly. hang in there...

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