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The Moment Comes
Contributed by
keilantra
on
Friday, 23rd June 2006 @ 10:10:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
I'll write you name on my sleeve
I'll write your name on my heart
I'll let you treat me like paper;
Write on me and tear me apart.
Anything to keep you busy works:
I’ve got the time;
You’ve become less of an addiction,
More of a state of mind.
Break me down
Whichever way pleases you most;
It’s tolerable and expected
That this gets out of control.
Commending your sins,
Here- we have no reasons,
The sky is infinite and so are the shadows,
All the better to hide in, my love.
But I’m not here to offer lifetime memories,
But merely to be reckless and heartless
Quite possibly even fearless, and to feel nothing
When the moment comes
Copyright ©
keilantra
... [
2006-06-23 22:10:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Moment Comes
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Saturday, 24th June 2006 @ 01:57:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a lovely read.
especially the first stanza.
"I'll let you treat me like paper;
Write on me and tear me apart."
- nice word imagery used.
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Re: The Moment Comes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Saturday, 24th June 2006 @ 02:39:29 AM AEST
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I won't venture here to define the moment (or moments)you are referring to,only to say this poem is pretty damn cool. Middle School, you say? I don't believe it. there are alot of jaded and disturbing moments in this piece, but also some absolutely beautiful phrasing that has a song-like quality eg:
I'll write you name on my sleeve
I'll write your name on my heart
and;
You’ve become less of an addiction,
More of a state of mind.
When poets write lines that I wish I had written, I know that I am in good company.
Spike
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Re: The Moment Comes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 24th June 2006 @ 09:36:01 AM AEST
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Just abstract enough to circle the wagons 'round what almost sounds like submissive devotion, but ya end it with a air of strength:
"But I’m not here to offer lifetime memories,
But merely to be reckless and heartless
Quite possibly even fearless, and to feel nothing
When the moment comes"
Good work, kei
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: The Moment Comes
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 25th June 2006 @ 09:15:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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awesome write...i loved it!!
wiz |
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