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Curse
Contributed by
Bbear61
on
Thursday, 22nd June 2006 @ 03:16:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
This moment of insanity,
Void of any clarity,
Filled with no prosperity,
Pains my body so.
My body wrings a shudder,
My lyrics only muttered,
Not a word shall I udder,
Under this spell that is a hold.
In my bones I feel a prickle,
No, it does not even tickle,
The voices in my head are fickle,
What curse has enthralled me so?
A trickle of my blood,
Falling down my wrists in flood,
Razor slipped between my teeth like cud,
This cursed life of mine is woe.
A final breath escapes me,
River of blood turns into tossing sea,
Razor cutting a vein like a raging bee,
My time here is no more.
Copyright ©
Bbear61
... [
2006-06-22 15:16:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Curse
(User Rating: 1 )
by kreechur on
Thursday, 22nd June 2006 @ 03:47:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| this makes me feel sympathy for the subject...i felt the sense of hopelessness and despair.....i understood....very clear....the motivation jumps right out at you...so much better than a harlequin romance vampire chronicle.....i liked the way the very first stance captures my interest and daws me into the subjects mind set..... |
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Re: Curse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lilbabe on
Tuesday, 27th June 2006 @ 10:30:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this was written well. i liked the rhyme scheme, it was diffent. the wording was wonderful too...amounting to a powerful effect.
~lex~ |
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