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Between Blinking
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 09:08:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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Disapproving stares,
flicker,
At the edges of my eyelids;
disintegrating,
Into a myriad of suspicious faces.
Arrogant lips,
Torn into vicious snarls,
Curl into insidious smiles;
In between each blink,
I am deceived into being the fool.
Mirror images threaten,
With a clear grace,
One can only attune to oneself.
Like a snake,
The darkness wraps around another heart,
Swallowing another tiny speck of light,
Into instant death.
Eyes open toward myself,
And between blinking,
I see my soul die.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2006-06-17 09:08:42] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by wizard on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 09:53:38 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i thought this was great!
nicely done!
wiz |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by bronzen on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 10:21:50 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i understood every word great expression good write but i hope this is not how you feel about yourself keep penning |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 11:28:33 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Oh my gosh, Phyllis, this is a powerfully sad poem. I can really feel the emotion. You have written sooooooo well here....as you always do. I'm thinking I understand it but then again there could be some hidden meaning we don't know of????
Anywho....
*huge hug*
Love ya'
Tim
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 01:25:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is fascinating phill as usual your brilliance is baffling and i ain't gonna question this poem but simply enjoy
it would u believe i read it 3 times lol. oh i understand, also no between the lines,
off 2 read another one of your beautys
that comfort my soul.
((((((Phill))))))
Ben |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 10:50:33 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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lol great job |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 18th June 2006 @ 09:28:44 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Magnificent writing. Very enjoyable and, yes, understandable.
KenMoore |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 18th June 2006 @ 10:55:20 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Sweetie~
Omigosh!! Can I say how much I truly love this, [even though it is heart wrenching]?
Incredible use of imagery here and holy wow the emotions not only fill the space but
consume it! God, this is sad in a way that leaves me feeling so helpless and alone.
It, to me, is a masterpiece of hopeless despair.
Amazing imagery, hun. You reached right in and gripped my heart with this one.
*hugs you tight*
~Breezy |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Ruby2sdy on
Sunday, 18th June 2006 @ 01:04:16 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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It's a very nice piece, when we edit poetry so much can be lost in the translation, so I'm very glad you just kept it as it was originally intended! Brilliant!
2sdyx |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jeff_Scott_Morehead on
Monday, 19th June 2006 @ 07:11:50 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Excellent writing,....well done!
Jeff |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by liquidsunshine on
Monday, 19th June 2006 @ 10:41:07 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Powerful, Philly, girl!!!
You know, sometimes I think that uninhibited, unedited writing brings about the best in a poet. Even so, it's good for anyone once in a while.
Love and peace,
Chels |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th June 2006 @ 10:42:03 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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So very emotional sis....sigh..yeah there's a whole lot of frustration built into this, anger, sadness and the urge to be free...very powerful! |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Willofree on
Monday, 19th June 2006 @ 03:21:47 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Whew! This is on powerful and provacative write. This is an excellent write, which I really found meaningful. It reminds me how fast life can slip away if we are not careful. How we may put things off until it's too late.
Super write,
Will |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by ButchHoward on
Wednesday, 21st June 2006 @ 05:02:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow! -talk about heart wrenching...I have felt many of these same feelings when walking into a room full of people I don't know. I don't think I could have ever put those feelings into words as effectively as you have here. A very powerful write. -Excellent work!
Butch |
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Re: Between Blinking
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 20th July 2006 @ 10:41:27 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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beauty, it's been said, is in the eye of the beholder.
I can relate, absolutely..(2nd stanza's best)
I feel ya~
Billy |
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