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A Pound of Cure
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Wednesday, 14th June 2006 @ 09:33:35 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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Expansion is built on a promise never kept
whispers of forever ride the current that swept
Poetically speaking; the bridge still burns
warily seeking is the lusting that yearns
And now we know where the dreams went to die!
They were promised awake by a web of lies!
Famously swallowed in that glorious quake
a white rose is dropped at the lovers' lone wake
Crumbling of the sky; all ashen and grey
howling at the moon, but not falling prey
But, oh! How mightily the tables have turned!
Study with haste the lessons you've learned!
Daring to lick at the flames on this fiery night
with gasoline and match, the pyro takes flight
Wounds mistreated; bandaged for a cure-
now infected lesions, with scarring to endure
And, oh! How you've realized a little too late!
The thing you didn't recognize, was clearly your fate!
Jumping ship long before the shore was reached
caught in the safety net, you were securely breached
Busy shaking his fist at the misfortunes he received
his opportunity came and went for his heart to be freed
Now look back with shame at what you've missed!
You'll find this time, you've been categorically dismissed.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2006-06-14 09:33:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 14th June 2006 @ 10:11:00 AM AEST
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Again the wording and imagery so potent and powerful. This is a captivating read which sort of engulfs you in its' action packed style. I'm amazed at how well you create the tone with with your choice of words.
Well done, Scorp
Will |
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by candysears on
Wednesday, 14th June 2006 @ 11:39:00 AM AEST
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I think you out did yourself...
Very good...I love this write..
Like a smooth cup of coffee
Good till the end...
God Bless! |
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th June 2006 @ 12:40:44 PM AEST
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Gosh! You take bitterness and lifes painful lessons and wrap them in such artistic beauty....it amazes me.
Oh so well written scorpy. I can feel the emotion! |
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Wednesday, 14th June 2006 @ 06:37:19 PM AEST
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what a strong write...i love your style so much...this was perfect!
wiz
ps... have i told you how nice it is to have you back?...;)
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th June 2006 @ 06:42:43 PM AEST
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*applauds madly*
THERE is the scorpy I know and love!!! lol
gosh chicarino, this was exceptional!! And so well, (and I mean, VERY WELL)
put! You will not go quietly into that good night. HECK NO!
Awesome word usage, hun and the message here is strong! Powerfully strong!!
I can relate to this piece in a sad and yet, wonderful way. Those last two lines in
particular really grab me.
Perfection as only scorpy can do!
~Breezy |
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th June 2006 @ 10:42:40 PM AEST
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OMG!!!!! Another power poem from the power poetess herself...the Scorpenator!!!!! Damn I missed that!!!
Your use of metaphors in this one are absolutely magnificent and brilliant. Oh, and it seems, as only the Scorpenator can do!!!!!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Scorperiffic ! ! ! ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Awesome and applauding madly along with Roxie. Can you hear us? :D
TIMber
:-)
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 15th June 2006 @ 04:27:59 AM AEST
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wow so powerful scorpy
awsome job girl.
hugs |
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 16th June 2006 @ 02:09:51 AM AEST
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Wow.
This piece is rather powerful.
Emphasised strongly and expressed with firmness and flair.
You begin, heavily with purpose and figurative language.
"Expansion is built on a promise never kept"
"And now we know where the dreams went to die!"
Wow. that line just blows me away with its great capacity and strength, of metaphoric value.
Many of the lines, feel as if expressed with turmoil.
"But, oh! How mightily the tables have turned!
Study with haste the lessons you've learned!"
--This although suggests hope...
And i must agree, entirely.
There is always something to be learned from...regardless of the type of experience.
"Wounds mistreated; bandaged for a cure-
now infected lesions, with scarring to endure"
I particularly enjoyed these lines, although painful to read...
The content and rhyme is just flawless, here.
The last two lines, i feel are the most energetic and simultaneously reflective.
Gosh i could sit for hours and ponder, from every aspect, how these lines could be perfectly interpreted.
A stunning write. |
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 09:53:17 PM AEST
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Fantastic couplet at the end there Scorp~
it's all about karma isn't it:
brushing off an old cliche
"what comes around, goes around"
An ode to ignorance..AND contrition.. these words.
Great work, as always-
Billy
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 12:03:44 PM AEST
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What a dose of insight elegantly penned. I wonder how much flesh does it take to make a 'pound of cure?'
By this piece every ounce in order to prevent wasted talents and mis-applied abilities.
Brilliant
Peace |
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Monday, 7th May 2007 @ 11:36:07 PM AEST
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Would you believe...I am just finding you?
What a beginning to read this piece first.
What a fantastic piece of work. I can't wait to get to the rest .
You write with fire passion my friend. |
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Re: A Pound of Cure
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 1st June 2014 @ 04:08:32 PM AEST
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And now we know where the dreams went to die!
They were promised awake by a web of lies!
But, oh! How mightily the tables have turned!
Study with haste the lessons you've learned!
And, oh! How you've realized a little too late!
The thing you didn't recognize, was clearly your fate!
Now look back with shame at what you've missed!
You'll find this time, you've been categorically dismissed.
the whole poem is perfectly laid out, everything about it is beautifully done, i just had to see what these inner lines looked like together, i'm delighted! ~the poem within a poem thing always fascinates me, what was the poet thinking, what was the initial design, ...it is exquisitely exquisite!!!!!!!!
hugs n' love nessa
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