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Disheartened Soul
Contributed by
lostsubconscience
on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 03:56:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
I've been told suicide isn't the answer, but I'm afraid it's too late
Even though you can't understand, I feel it's my fate
I've been told its been selfish, and you care only for yourself
As you are now thinking back, and clearing off my shelf
I just couldn't take life's unrelenting course
And I'm sorry if you've discovered feelings of remorse
I may be foolish for choosing what you may call a temporary solution
But with careful initiative, the greatest healer on earth could not rid my mind of pollution
I'm not asking for forgiveness, there's not much I expect
But if I burn in hell because I couldn't wait for God, I guess it's the one thing I can accept
I know it makes no sense to turn to pain for eternity instead of life on earth
However now that I think back, I was condemned since birth
I didn't want to go on knowing how impossible was my dream
So my nightmare turned real as my soul tore at the seams
Truely I am rueful for the devastation I've caused
I never meant to hurt anyone as my blacked heart gives a redundant applause
I say to myself, well done that I've found an answer I knew intentially was not right
I just gave in to misery without even putting up a fight
You are troubled with confusion that I've sentenced myself to death
Why I think I'd escape with the notion of my final breath
The reason is even complicated for me to comprehend
But grief weighed me down to my knees with it all coming to an end
I wrote the last chapter, sentence, phrase, and then word
After my struggle of disguising what I would not let be heard
I looked to God to see if he would be the one to take me away
And relentlessly he told me I was undeserving of my request, and my other option would leave me to pay
My decision was tough, yet obliviously made
As my body went numb, and the world started to fade
Me, the clever girl who was once defined as a source of relief
Destined to find content by misery that changed the meaning of hope to disbelief
And has also proven the unforeseen preference of what you'd never imagine
And let's you now conclude your own ending as I lay there stiff, cold, and saddened
I have mislead what your eyes now see when I appear to be at rest
It's hard to admit the tragic sin compelled was not for the best
Seems I have succumbed to what most may fear
Then I left unprevailing with a trickeling tear
Memory is the only distinction of where the truth used to stand
With my arms folded over, and a rose placed in my hands
At this point in time I'm indecisive if I have regret
Sentiment of the realization many will not forget
The heartwrenching ghost starts to set in as you whitness a casket filled of remains
Melancholy spirits renoucned a prayer while watching,crying; in despair and disdain
The hole has been dug, next lowered six feet in my grave
All executions carried out, no more paths left to pave
The worst predicament I have stolen was something everyone thought they knew
Turning the page to find only a blank, the finality is through
Time passes by; aside the inscribed letters of my name
There you set flowers, wishing it was all only a game
The cold, icy wind suddenly blows
And sings a sad song for friends and for woes
They treasure what's most valued in their hearts locked tight with a key
Their minds filled with wonder if my essence will one day be free.
Copyright ©
lostsubconscience
... [
2006-06-10 03:56:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Disheartened Soul
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nothingness on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 01:41:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| ....*sniffle* great great write and wow did it hit me hard.... im going through alot that relates i just lost 2 friends to suicide and thats the one thought that keeps me from suicide...how much everyone else is left to suffer so even if it seems to be the answer the question is do you really want others to have to live with so much pain? |
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