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Perplexed Indignation
Contributed by
3x5
on
Thursday, 1st June 2006 @ 10:05:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
A constant indignation
when I talk to you
is something that I'm finding hard to explain.
I'm not even angry,
but I'm considering beating the living ---- out of you.
You're perplexed by the ire I show for this situation.
Its pure irony.
I just met you and you're already showing signs..
of pure vexation.
You ask why I'm so temperamental..
but you said it yourself last week..
when you're bleeding from between your legs..
you can get to that point of openly flowing emotion
called sentimental.
So I'd like to let you know,
that I'm going to explode..
sooner or later.
On the flip-side
of this one sided,
but disparate colored coin..
I'm enjoying your unhealthy, obsessive company.
Copyright ©
3x5
... [
2006-06-01 22:05:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Perplexed Indignation
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 1st June 2006 @ 10:24:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC, 3x5!!!
I'll tell you this much... you sure got my attention with your first post! You made quite an entrance, I'd say.
In terms of critique... I'll admit to being a tad curious about your choice of including "sentimental" as you did, where you did, in this write. With 'ire', vexation' and a pending explosion surrounding it - "sentimental" seems rather inconsistent there (and you may well have intended as much, of course... I mention as much only in order to share my thoughts).
All in all... I'm intrigued and looking forward to reading more of your work.
Hoping you enjoy your time here,
~Snemmy
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Re: Perplexed Indignation
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3x5 on
Thursday, 1st June 2006 @ 10:41:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I have actually been revising it since I posted it on here. I wish there was a way to edit these things. Thanks for the comment..I really appreciate it. |
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Re: Perplexed Indignation
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Friday, 2nd June 2006 @ 01:36:31 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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wow i say you have an anger problem lol.
good write though. |
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