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Going Under
Contributed by
secretwind
on
Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 02:09:38 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I fall slowly
down into the hole
cause I'm crippled
with a broken soul
I try to do right
but everything is wrong
out is in and down is up
I just don't belong
ohhh
silently I scream
as a teardrop explodes
and i'm blown to bits
as I fade
I still hear the voices
moaning
oh yeah we like it like this...
Copyright ©
secretwind
... [
2006-05-30 02:09:38] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Going Under
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 02:30:50 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Breathe, just breathe.
Cheer up, I still luv ya, my friend.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Going Under
(User Rating: 1 ) by Davinah on
Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 04:01:11 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is very well written! I like it a lot!
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Re: Going Under
(User Rating: 1 ) by spider on
Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 07:01:39 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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jesus, ok i dont know i this is actually about what it seems to be but that last line is harsh.
bloody powerful write, really great. i mean, every line is just amazing.
think i really like the rhymey sort of thing of bits and this, really finishes it well.
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Re: Going Under
(User Rating: 1 ) by Remi on
Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 08:39:04 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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end is nice, i like the way it ended overall it a great write as well |
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Re: Going Under
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 09:30:26 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very compelling poem got lost in it. nicely
presented.
Ben |
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Re: Going Under
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th June 2006 @ 05:19:52 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I see brevity and impacting thought lines as your allies in depicting an emotional ride on some roller-coaster moments. Enjoyed my time readin' the secretwind(s) of your soul. My compliments on some very good writing.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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