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The Emotional Edge
Contributed by
Tanna
on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 12:32:46 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
I’m not enough to hold one’s interest long
Not sure how, or why, or even where I belong
The feeling of failure is overwhelmingly strong
Can I bend before I break?
Self pity and recrimination have taken hold
Ironic, the way my days unfold
It’s amazing to see, a sight to behold
Apprehensive, I start to shake.
I’ve torn down walls that I have built
Walked through life haunted by guilt
I’ve withdrawn and felt my soul wilt
How many more mistakes can I make?
A teardrop forms in the corner of my eye
I swore to myself I wouldn’t cry
I’ll straighten my spine and continue to try
How much more can one heart take?
Needing to discover my own worth
To come into my own, make my mark on this earth
“36 years wasted away”, I chuckle with mirth
“Makes even a madwoman quake.”.
Premonition, trepidation, both crawl up my back
I sit for an eternity, waiting for the attack
The world around me slowly turns black
But for now, I must stay awake.
Copyright ©
Tanna
... [
2006-05-21 00:32:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Emotional Edge
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 01:15:02 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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wow...i thought this was a great write. you've done well with the rhyming (i'm a big fan of the a,a,a,b style, as indicated by several of my writes). it can be difficult not to sound forced in rhyme with this style, and you've pulled that of nicely.
and as for emotion, the torment comes through nicely...i can feel this scream with misery.
nicely done!
wiz |
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Re: The Emotional Edge
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mystik on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 02:06:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| That was incredibly beautiful. Your words were deep and felt strong. |
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