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Battle of Summer Love
Contributed by
wizard
on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 08:20:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Never have I seen the moon
As in the darkest night of June,
With the night bird in its saddest tune;
On this night I’ve but a chance…
Upon this night I lay my soul
With hopes its blackness will console,
While I weep upon this withered knoll
Preparing for my final stance.
Embarking on a battle grand
Heard across this tattered land,
I battle love with sword in hand;
If triumphant, I might enhance.
Standing tall I take a hold
Of this burden so foretold,
One so many have extolled;
It holds so many in its trance.
Deep within I thrust my sword
To kill this beast I’ve long deplored.
With that thrust the creature roared
And struck me down with a glance.
Again this savage has prevailed!
On my very sword my heart’s impaled.
Once more my love has been assailed…
I ponder as I watch it dance
Yet upon my darkest days
Anticipation never sways
Nor the thought of love ablaze –
Nor a tear for lost romance.
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2006-05-16 20:20:34] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by katt on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 08:38:31 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Brilliantly written with fluid flow and rhyme. Enjoyed it immensely!
katt |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 09:28:23 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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bro..
I would love to open this comment with every pleasant and complimenting cliche ever uttered..
but it would do either of us no justice.
the simple composition coupled with your feelings of late have turned these words from mere poem to materpiece~
From here on in.. this may go down as the best bit of poetry you've ever written-
the rhyme.. the flow..
an eternal write.. for the masses-
B
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 09:41:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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What is that saying again? We are our own worst enemy . . . [or is that critc?]
In any case, yes. I think I get this. I don't know . . . muddled thoughts.
Whatever it speaks of, it is [as Billy said] a masterpiece. You are an incredible
enigma Paul. Truly. And your poetry is no exception to that affliction. I could read it
forever and a day and never tire of it. It brings with it a provocation of thought.
Always. And with that provocation . . . a pensive and somewhat sad musing.
Be that as it may, this is bloody brilliant.
~Breezy
(thinking I may have read those first three lines before . . . you really did wonders with them! ) |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 10:06:45 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Masterful work. Powerful. The detail of the metaphor enemy, of the battle and the flow of the story line as vivid as I've ever read to a conclusion of victory "nor a tear for lost romance. Oh, might as well call ya what ya is ... a wizard with words ie word master.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kevin on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 10:28:02 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Awesome write, i reall loved this one. The symbolism and the imagery that you have conveyed in this poem is nothing short of sheer brilliance. Such beauty and elegence, yet a sad, haunting aura about this poem makes it most wonderful. Thank you for writing this, i really loved it
-Kevin |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 05:35:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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first stanza sets the pace gj rl love it |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 06:11:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A beautiful piece, Paul..enjoyed the rhyming scheme used here.
Jenni |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 07:06:16 AM AEST (User
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Wiz,
You write from deep within and you have made us feel what u are feeling inside. A brilliant masterpiece. I have re-read this over and over. May u never have another story of this sort to tell again. You deserve love, joy and happiness in ur life. All the best to u God speed.
*big warm huggers*
~*Suzie Q*~ |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 18th May 2006 @ 07:42:43 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A beautiful write in which the hearts voice cries out in honest sorrow. well done.
Ben |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 19th May 2006 @ 11:52:23 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is a wonderful poetic gamble...but it doesn't quite make it for me.Hell!..How many blast into free verse and do as they like?Who me ? Yes!(blushes)....I salute you Sir..In the name of Poetry,
Den |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Lo2681 on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 11:15:43 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I love the feeling of this write ...it's very well done. I like it:)
~Lo |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 08:16:45 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Firstly I would like to congratulate you on the rhyming scheme for this piece very well thought out indeed.
The flow and Imagery coupled together made this an enthralling read.
5 stars.
J. |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Monday, 29th May 2006 @ 06:41:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Well done.
Awesome writing.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Sony_Boat on
Monday, 29th May 2006 @ 11:15:56 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I shed tears, my heart pained so deep as I read every word. You wrote it beautifully, so beautiful. I will be reading it over and over again, and again. You drew a picture, so very decorated with feelings, and so very real. Taking a deep breath here. My heart understands this poem very well. |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jyssvw on
Wednesday, 31st May 2006 @ 03:42:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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sweet write all over the place.
great work here
really enjoyed it |
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Re: Battle of Summer Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by lovingcritters on
Thursday, 1st June 2006 @ 12:34:06 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great Poem Paul, means something different I'm sure to each one of us. I'm amazed by your special touch and timing. Well done, I'll look forward to reading your next one!
Warm love
ConSue |
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