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Heartbreaker
Contributed by
Exodus
on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 12:03:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Look at the way the waterslide twists
As we round the bend and I lose sight of your back
We come out at the bottom and I lose you
As I drown at the bottom, slowly of heart-attack
Say it isn't so
You sweet, sorrowful, joyful thing
I would climb to heaven
To hear you laugh and hear you sing
You are a heartbreaker
And mine is the one grown old
It sits in dust and continuity
As your memory grows so very cold
Its beautiful
Being sad
Its relient
When things go bad
But I'm decent and deviant
I won't shake the way that I'm feelin' it
But I can always shut my eyes and see
The top of the bottom and the inside of you and me
I can feel the inside
I can see the upright
On the other end of the bottle and I can see
Drowning in the bottom of the everlasting me
I can feel it
I can use it
If only I open my eyes
If only I open my eyes
I'm lonely without care
I'm lonely and you take me there
I can't conform to
I can't confront you
You're twisting around the bend
And I can't make a decision to
Say it isn't completely true
The things I will never say to you
For a lifetaker
Cheers to you, heartbreaker
Copyright ©
Exodus
... [
2006-05-16 00:03:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Heartbreaker
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lo2681 on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 12:07:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow very powerful peace. It's weird how sometimes it is safer to feel the pain of letting someone break your heart than to move on and find someone new or let go of someone u lost. You fear that the pain might be greater if you do it all over again and aloow yourself to move forward. This way you know what you are in for already. I feel your pain on this. Best wishes:)
~Lo |
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Re: Heartbreaker
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 12:55:24 AM AEST
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Ouch!
Great writing tho.
huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Heartbreaker
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 03:23:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Well worded, and moving. The style seemed to change a bit towards the end, though; much more songlike, less like written poetry. Perhaps a rewrite would smooth that over.
Andrew |
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