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Woeful Butterfly
Contributed by
Man_On_High
on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 02:25:19 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
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Some garden gate I wandered by
one bright and cheerful morn'
when I saw a fledgling butterfly
just sitting on a thorn..
a black and crimson butterfly,
all woeful and forlon.
I thought that life would ALWAYS sing
to new-born butterflies..
but I gazed on this unhappy thing
with wonder and surprise-
while sadly waving with his wing,
he wiped his weeping eyes.
I said, "What can the matter be?
Why weepest thou before?
..with garden fair and sun-lit tree
and flowers in plenty store?"
but he only turned away from me
unhappy all the more-
He cried: "My legs are thin and few
where once of them, a swarm!
My fuzzy hair - a joy to view,
once kept my body warm,
before my flapping limbs that grew
to hamper and deform!"
So at the butterfly, I shot
the fury of my eye!
said I in scorn, now burning hot
with rage and anger high:
"You everlasting idiot!
Those wings are made to fly!"
"I do not want to fly," said he..
"I only want to squirm!"
and he dropped his wings dejectedly
but still his voice was firm:
"I DO NOT want to be a fly,
I want to be a worm!"
'twas yesterday.. he turned his back
to all the unknown bliss-
I left the fool in red and black;
The last I saw was this:
..the creature climbing madly back
into his chrysalis..
Billy
2006
Copyright ©
Man_On_High
... [
2006-05-13 02:25:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 03:00:42 AM AEST
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Deep, deep, deep.
Grande work.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 06:38:26 AM AEST
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Oh Billy, this had me so sad at the beginning, but had me laughing at the end.. Nicely done...
Thank you for the smiles.
Jenni |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 08:10:02 AM AEST
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Billy~
Amazingly deep, my friend. All of us, I feel have been this poor,
sad creature, (myself included). A dejected and wearied soul
wanting only what is (was) familiar and never embracing the
untold treasures that lie await for us in change. Perhaps
we need only a kind heart to guide us; to show us the beauty
and how wonderful life can be when we let the metamorphosis
begin.
The past and all that was there is gone. Leave it and you
will find so much more wonder in a sunset than you had ever
thought possible. There is so much magic here!
I loved this so much. Even in it's sadness, it is a stunning
thing of beauty. And, as always, I am so more than
impressed in the style and word choice you use.
Magnificent!
~Breezy |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 01:08:10 PM AEST
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this poem...reading like a short story...was amazing! i loved every line..and the message which they hold. perfect flow and rhyme...i love it. very whimsical and magically done.
honestly yours,
wiz-id
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 02:01:15 PM AEST
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Billy,
This is very deep and with a surprise ending!!! I love it, as I read along I felt a saddness, and the ending was so unexpected and very symbolic of sometimes fearing or shunning change, or wanting what we once were, You are brilliant a five...
LG |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Faust on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 08:09:21 PM AEST
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This is good, to me it not only conveys how confusing things are and also how one can be afraid of doing something and wanting to crawl back into the "womb" or chrysalis.
Eternally Punished,
Faust |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by katt on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 10:00:15 PM AEST
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Sounds like a butterfly going through the change of life to me. Must have been a female. Yep, i know the feeling well.
Great read and write.
katt |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Sunday, 14th May 2006 @ 07:48:09 PM AEST
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Well you pulled it off wonderfully, I had my doubt as I began reading, but you got the desired result.
Nice on the eyes as usual
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 05:48:06 AM AEST
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| good meter I can keep up.. my tongue does not trip me up... if the length is not so.. it will cause one to stutter.. so i say. gj... lovely poem.. title yes... theme wonderful... now come write for me.. I need help for a lovely poem as this one.. and you know what.. it sent me feeling good... just for the pace and the sound I could feel while reading... you are awesome.. rl.. |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 10:49:24 PM AEST
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Billy~
You already know how much I love this write of urs. It has depth, meaning, so many of us can relate to it. One should look within the lines. I love the way u have worded this. A remarkable write filled with such sadness.
As remarkable and beautiful as the master of all poets himself. One day my friend soon, ur heart shall sing a different tune.
Brilliant as always Billy. Keep it up.
love n hugs from ur fan/friend,
~*suzie Q*~ |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 12:14:30 PM AEST
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Damn, Billy! I have sooo many thoughts on this that the likelihood of my being able to stuff them all here in your comment section is slim to none, methinks. But... let me (at the risk of writing a novel) at least say this much....
I had a grin on my face by the end of the first stanza. I thought... "Well now... I could probably guess who he's been reading." *smiles* The thought gave me considerable delight as I personally feel quite strongly that poetry inspired by fine poetry is indeed a wonderful thing! 'Immitation' though, irritates me somehow. It was, then, quite enjoyable to find a cadence, an essence that seemed familiar but not (for your having made it your own) stolen. Ah, yes! In that way, this is quite a treat!
Regarding the context... my word! you've exceled here... in enumerable ways, I believe. From perfectly wonderful title to heartrending last line, you've thrown yourself so fully into this metaphor that I could feel it taking on a life of its own as this piece progressed. It occurs to me that there must have been a magical sort of moment just before this began spilling onto the page, when the initial thought of the Woeful Butterfly came to you (that moment, I can only imagine as having been at least as poetic that what was to come of/from it!). This piece is exquisite... so perfectly crafted in metaphor that one cannot not help but pause and consider the skill demonstrated here.
And... lastly, but certainly not least.... I cannot leave without commenting on the what-you-were-expressing here. Goodness. Truly, I don't even have words enough to convey how profoundly it reaches me. This screams to me. However, I cannot concur with other that remarked of a 'surprise' ending. The piece concludes perfectly, but... the ending, to me, was not entirely unexpected. Unless I'm wrong, your intent all along was to bring us there. I'd venture to guess that the conclusion was what heralded the initial thought of the metaphor/the write in the first place. You... took us there, to where you were, via this write. And yeh, Billy... I followed where you led me... and felt the full impact of that conclusion. Although it did not 'surprise me', so to speak... it totaled me just the same.
Enormously well done. Bravo Bravo Bravo!!!!
Begging your forgiveness for the rambling I've done here,
~Snemmy
(who has already been to Best Poem of the Day to mention this incredible piece)
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 12:21:57 PM AEST
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And... um.... as if I haven't already said enough here.... I have to add this:
Your Butterfly, Billy? Gosh... I hope he reconsiders flight. It tears at me to think that he might never soar. *sighs heavily*
~Snem
(who may be done now *wink*) |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 11:15:06 PM AEST
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Wow---I like!
Talk about rejecting your god-given talent...Loving the powerful message here Billy. The symbolism, and the way your words unfold---great stuff.
Scorp. |
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Re: Woeful Butterfly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Thursday, 15th June 2006 @ 01:38:00 AM AEST
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| wow!!! this is a great write...the imagery is amazing..although a sad story it does tell. There are so many ways to inturpret this and i won't go into my thoughts, but Good Job...thanks for sharing. |
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