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Untitled
Contributed by
The_Young_Poet
on
Wednesday, 10th May 2006 @ 05:40:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
I walked down the hall
Flinching at what I saw
Looking at you flirt
Thought it doesn’t hurt
I’m over what we had
What we had was sad
So I’m just happy
We’ve moved on
No one won
We just kind of let things go
We’re not foes
We’re just…. Strangers
Walking past each other in the hall
Everyday, not noticing
Though occasionally having the glance
What do people expect?
For me or him to prance
Onto each other wanting each other back?
Not going to work with this
I’ve raised my fist
So many times
That I was sick of it
All the little fits
Were so stupid
You may have been good looking
But what’s looks got to do with it?
So I just pass you
As those girls cling to you
Squealing over everything you do
You take a glance
And I give one back
You give me a friendly smile
Just to be nice, I send one back
I put my face forward
Watching from the corner of my eye
Watching you not so interested in those girls
Trying to get away
Giving me a sad, hopeful look
Was he trying to get to me?
I wonder and I ponder
But I continue to walk
Past is the Past
But was it really?
Copyright ©
The_Young_Poet
... [
2006-05-10 17:40:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Wednesday, 10th May 2006 @ 06:27:03 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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gods! i hated school! ^_^ this is pretty good...
you should consider complicating some of your words though...eh...use stronger words! But not too strong...you have to find a happy medium...you want to draw people in by making them think (not always)
Try to be more elusive, but at the same time be concrete...
I'm no good at explaining these things...
anyway, good work...keep writing
always, abraham |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 10th May 2006 @ 10:14:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I think what abraham meant was, keep pouring your soul out onto paper as you see fit-
don't change a thing.
(and how nice to finally see correct spelling and word usage)
Be honest to yourself, ONLY!
..true poets always are.
This poem was simple and honest;
great work-
Truly..
B |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honesty_strikes_my_pen on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 07:13:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Whoa! It's like you've been following me around my school or something. lol I love this peom so much. I only wish i would have thought to make it first. A+++!!!
Cheyenne |
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