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Golden and Forlorn
Contributed by
PoeticHybrid
on
Tuesday, 9th May 2006 @ 09:32:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Golden child
sitting alone
pondering his role
in the world around him
Forlorn girl
sitting surrounded
by uncaring people
her breath counts down
Eye contact is made
golden smile
forlorn expression
chemistry is sparked
Passions rise
consuming them both
burning ever hotter
until nothing is left
Golden child
lives on pondering
forlorn girl's breath
reaches zero...
Copyright ©
PoeticHybrid
... [
2006-05-09 21:32:25] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Golden and Forlorn
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 11th May 2006 @ 01:05:11 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Nicely done..
4th stanza's best-
B |
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Re: Golden and Forlorn
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 11th May 2006 @ 06:54:43 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You have something here! It shows uniqueness and originality. Great images and thought provoking.
I especially like the way you ended it!
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Re: Golden and Forlorn
(User Rating: 1 ) by EddieDean on
Thursday, 18th May 2006 @ 08:23:23 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Nice work, nice work. Keep it comin |
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