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My Deal:
Contributed by
RICHARD_CAMPBELL
on
Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 12:28:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
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No time
no fun
no where
to keep my guns.
no pain
no gain
in no way
am I in-sane
yes am rich
yes am slick
and yes am hard as a brick
as long as I choose
who am with.
do you got that lip?
Copyright ©
RICHARD_CAMPBELL
... [
2006-05-06 12:28:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Deal:
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 03:08:01 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Second "no mincin' o' words" poem I've read at this sitting. To the point and, undoubtedly, belongs in Angry. I think ya meant it to be and structured it that way. Ya need fix third line "no were" to no where" and maybe put a question mark after "do you got that lip? Just so's it's understood ...
"it just a matter of time." Great burst of anger energy! I liked it!
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: My Deal:
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lo2681 on
Wednesday, 10th May 2006 @ 04:29:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Short and sweet. Nice write
~Lo |
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