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Last Heartbeat

Contributed by lostinmyself on Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 06:19:41 PM in AEST
Topic: toughstuff



My heartbeat is caught inside my throat,
And I'm choking regret into the air,
My tears are drowning in the hurt,
They know not how to hide from despair.

This heartbeat falters with every breath,
It's waiting for the loves' demise,
No knife nor gun could hurt so much,
The only thing that kills, are lies.

With each and every wretched word,
Of sweetness, touching to the core,
My heartbeat catches in my throat.
I slowly die a little more...




Copyright © lostinmyself ... [ 2006-05-04 18:19:41]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 06:36:39 PM AEST
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You have captured the essence of "loves' demise" in three short stanzas of pain. Not wallowing pain, just knowing pain, "slowly" dying "a little more..." Really enjoyable snapshot of something I've felt in five out of six "serious" relationship in my life, the last having no such pain. Twenty-five years come July. Many compliments.

wabl
KenMoore
cowboy


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by LoveStruck_Hippie on Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 07:16:20 PM AEST
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Very powerful, heartfelt piece. Something I thing anyone who has ever loved and lost can relate to.

*Hugs*

Shannon


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 05:02:26 AM AEST
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This is so powerfully sad, Phyllis. Yet, you write so well. I don't know what else to say except that it is a great poem and...

*ginormous hug*


Sincerely,

Tim


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 10:12:12 AM AEST
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Wow Phil....you have so much emotion here. The flow and rhythm to the piece was wonderful. A sad but exquisite write. Beautiful.
Peace my friend, Laura


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by The_Young_Poet on Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 04:39:25 PM AEST
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awww so sad, but very good. good job!!


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 10:09:36 PM AEST
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Sweets, this was incredibly sad and despondent.

[more tonight than when I first read it even]

That last line holds a terrible truth for so many.
As long as hearts breathe . . . hearts break. There
is not much we can do to change it. Hold on. Out
from the depths of despair rises hope and happiness.
Feeling distress is only but to help us recognize the
elation that always comes into our lives. All we have
to do is invite it . . .

*hugs you tons*

~Breezy


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 12:58:05 PM AEST
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wonderful write from a wonderful writer , I likee...keep em coming


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on Monday, 8th May 2006 @ 11:55:11 PM AEST
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Phil, you translate your heartache so exquisitely into words, that this poem speaks for everyone who has ever had their hearts broken. Kudos for utilizing your pain in such a creatively beautiful way.

~Ave


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on Wednesday, 10th May 2006 @ 03:47:36 PM AEST
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wow!
really an excellent post. this line:

"The only thing that kills, are lies"

is one of my favorites. although the entire last stanza is great.

wiz


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on Sunday, 14th May 2006 @ 01:46:08 PM AEST
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So much said with so few words, truely a gift. Powerful message of how painful are lies and deceit....how deep t he wounds. The irony is, the deeper the hurt the greater the capacity to love deeply....albeit very crushing.

Very moving, thanks for sharing

Will


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 10:08:26 AM AEST
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A very graphic description, I can feel my heart in my own throat as I read this. I also like the vaagueness of exactly whose lies they are...yours or someone elses...


Re: Last Heartbeat (User Rating: 1 )
by spencer on Thursday, 25th May 2006 @ 06:38:06 AM AEST
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i feel alot of emotion from this poem, very good




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