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Night's Song (for Dawn)
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 02:38:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
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As if weeping wasn’t quite enough
She had begun to wail
Her cries blasting through the night
To tell her desperate tale
She sent forth relentless screams
Faster than the speed of sound
Bursting protective parapets
Knocking enemy soldiers down
~
Their eyes alive, turned to the sky
Their hands aquiver, their mouths wide
She knew for certain this was her time
On pure instinct alone, she relied
They lay there quiet, shocked and still
Absent resolve, fallen to her will
She had the power, she thought, until
She gave it up of her own freewill
From far away a sound was heard
A cry so loud it shook the world
She paused, listening to every word
Then, drawn to it, she stepped forward
~
As if wailing wasn’t quite enough
He had begun to weep
His tears falling down like rain
Pooling there at her feet
As storm clouds came rolling in
The thunder began to sound
There, in the middle of a terrific storm
They laid their weapons down
~
The fallen would concede that night
The sky alive with lightning strikes
The battle lost, given up the fight
Before the dawn had born its light
And yet a victory was to be denied
His pain, reflected in her eyes
Allied now, but still they cried
For soon they would again divide
Every night, another battle won
And every morn, before the sun
The two would stand together as one
But then, again, would come undone
~
As if their pain was not enough
They’d begin again that night
Their battle cries, a song of hope
That they’d one day win the fight
They’d steel themselves at twilight
Strengthened solely by the belief
That someday with the morning light
Would come a time of peace.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2006-05-03 02:38:09] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 03:25:14 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow...I am w/o speech. You captured so many emotions with this poem. Beautiful, Snemmy, beautiful! |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jackee_line on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 05:11:17 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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well done beautifully written. |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by ButchHoward on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 10:36:18 AM AEST (User
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War and division, reconciliation and hope -elements that combine to form the nature of man...the battle rages on while we hope "That someday with the morning light
Would come a time of peace." We must keep believing. I am amazed at your capacity to delve into the inner workings of man's nature and psyche. To say this is a "good write" would be an understatement!
Butch |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 11:48:30 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Snemmy-
You write nothing less than superb work! This being no exception at all. I loved and was caught up completely in this story. As with a good book, story, or movie I will be sure to revisit this again.
BRAVO
SCM |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 06:46:28 PM AEST (User
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Ah yes,the turmoil of the night,when the freed mind fights its battles.What draws me so much to this splendidly written poem,is the 'joining'.Two like-souls,fighting together,for a seemingly,unattainable dawn.Excellent,
Den |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th May 2006 @ 08:13:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Your format, unique, it rolls as a march or a cadance. I like it and am so darn impressed watching you struggle and grow.
The content, I'm not sure if I should touch that for I like the idea that there is so much more there than what is written, but I will say that poems and other things written in night often are so much better in the day than our own worst critique thinks of them. Need I say more? |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by justgulliver on
Wednesday, 10th May 2006 @ 08:48:14 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I love the imagery you use in this poem. It is aggressive, yet captures the beauty of war, the beauty of night as an almost divine struggle. There is also something difinitively female about your words. Female power, beauty and yet strength. The struggle of the night.
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Willofree on
Thursday, 11th May 2006 @ 10:43:00 PM AEST (User
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It seems that there is a theme of peace, perhaps in a relationship of a singular nature and of a collective nature. The price to pay and the pain are in the refrain. There is hope for peace in the end.
Well done, snemmy. I'm too tired to venture further as i'm sure t here is more to it.
Will |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Lo2681 on
Friday, 12th May 2006 @ 11:09:20 PM AEST (User
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Amazingly done. Beautiful.
~Lo |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by wizard on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 10:18:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very nice indeed...perfectly done.
wiz |
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Re: Night's Song (for Dawn)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 12th January 2009 @ 01:56:59 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I still find this one wonderfully amazing. It kind of reminds me of my poem, Battle Scars even though your writing is much better than mine. They are similar though.
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