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A Product of Heartstrings
Contributed by
keilantra
on
Monday, 24th April 2006 @ 06:30:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
He was there, you know
Make no mistake,
Despite what he says
Let me tell you the things that happened.
"I'm going to make you beautiful now"
Was i not already good enough?
No, he had to alter me; each piece of flesh
Was never to be the same.
He took my beauty
And burned it into the eye
Of his beholder
"You shall see what i see"
He's the master of cliches
And masquerades, and facades
He pretended to bleed for me
But instead he bled my blood.
I melted in front of him
(You can still se the stain)
But he left when he was finished
I was beautiful now , what did he have to gain?
I gave him not only my heart,
But my veins and ateries to match;
He only tangled them and got them them twisted
Then gave them right back.
The ring he gave
Yes, I let it linger
I only keep it
Becuase i could not get his finger.
He made me whole
By sharing his heartstrings
Took my beauty and burned it
He was never satisfied with somethings.
"You will see what i see"
I am only a product of what he makes..
"You will be a part of me"
Yet i amempty because of what he takes.
Copyright ©
keilantra
... [
2006-04-24 18:30:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Product of Heartstrings
(User Rating: 1 )
by AmandaChartrand on
Tuesday, 25th April 2006 @ 06:29:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| amazing poetry abstract like no other beautiful i love it! |
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Re: A Product of Heartstrings
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 28th April 2006 @ 02:58:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Another picture painted from a color come forth from the depths of a heart wounded, so tangled in "the heartstrings" of arteries and veins.
The colors of your words, your thought lines and their selected sequence crescendos to create the powerful effectiveness of an unsatisfied taker.
Darn, you're good!
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy
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Re: A Product of Heartstrings
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th April 2006 @ 11:33:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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OH MY!
You are such a brilliant writer. I can go on and on about the different parts of this poem that have impressed and inspired me, and also ripped my heart out. There is such a brilliant darkness here, that I do not think is surface dwelling. I think most will interpret this as an above average break up rant. They will be wrong, for there is much depth displayed here. This in fact is something I believe one must re-read over and over again and get many different emotions with each read.
"The ring he gave
Yes, I let it linger
I only keep it
Becuase i could not get his finger."
This is so dark and powerful. The captivity of someone who is captive only to the lack of being the captive of another. One hell of a stanza!
"He took my beauty
And burned it into the eye
Of his beholder
"You shall see what i see"
This is a most enveloping line, which allows us to feel your pain through the words of the inflictor.
'He pretended to bleed for me
But instead he bled my blood."
Very perceptive and open to the reader.
I could go on and on but these were the moments that made the poem melt so well. Though this work as a whole was maginificent. I just wanted to take a second to show you the shiniest of the shine.
AMAZING JOB!
SCM |
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Re: A Product of Heartstrings
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dizza_13 on
Thursday, 18th May 2006 @ 03:06:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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indescribable. totally unique from anything
ive ever read.
diz |
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