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Incidental Love
Contributed by
wizard
on
Sunday, 23rd April 2006 @ 12:20:19 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Entire reasons misunderstood,
I'd like to place them all away
This blooming garden I trusted in
With flowers gone astray
A cluttered head, a belted thought
A restless night of love for naught
So many reasons misplaced
I wish I could understand
If merely to know why
Our hearts would soon disband
Love me not if but for a day
Love me not if your love will fray
Truth be told within your eye
This blemished love of you and I
If the morrow holds its saddened sigh
We’ll kiss away this loving lie…
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2006-04-23 00:20:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Incidental Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 23rd April 2006 @ 02:56:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Wow..
I'm blown away bro-
and not as much by the words per say..
(which have been wonderfully and, as always, thoughtfully penned,) but by the sheer imagination used in the composition of the stanzas..(3 & 4 lines)
and also by the diverse rhyming scheme..
..terrifically poetic bro.. and very very well written.. truly, a 5 star write-
B
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Re: Incidental Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 23rd April 2006 @ 08:17:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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thanks Man_On_High...just thought i'd post a comment here to say that i did, indeed edit this poem after you commented...so that the 3 line stanzas are not there anymore (just thought i'd post this for clarity)
thanks for commenting.
wiz |
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Re: Incidental Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 23rd April 2006 @ 08:38:08 PM AEST
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You changed it. . .
The first time I read this, I was caught a little off guard. I wasn't prepared for
such a profound write. [I'm still not completely sure of it at the moment -
meanings and the like ...]
I liked the original, but do find the amendments favorable. This flows
extremely well and how I do adore that first stanza!
I can't get passed the last two lines. . . they invoke a sadness that lingers
for what seems like forever. It's a rarity to find a creation that emotes with
such depth. Brilliant work. Excellent read.
~Breezy
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Re: Incidental Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aquarius01 on
Saturday, 29th April 2006 @ 06:45:54 PM AEST
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| Being misunderstood, misplaced reasons, there's bound to be hurt and pain. Understanding and communication is the key to a loving relationship, along with trust, and honesty. Things that are so hard to find or chance upon today. Such a realistic write for many. I really enjoyed my read. I hope this is just your muse, best wishes all the same...Gloria E. |
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Re: Incidental Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 30th April 2006 @ 04:22:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Paul~
WoW u have done a fantastic job with this. Sad, deep it touches ones wounded heart. Your poetic verses penned magnificiently .
The last two lines speak of such sadness that I can sadly relate too.
I wish u well my friend.
*hugs galore*
~*suzie Q*~ |
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Re: Incidental Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by rapnificent on
Saturday, 20th May 2006 @ 07:45:10 AM AEST
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| Smoothe read. Great flow |
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Re: Incidental Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 11:48:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wonderfully expressed and emotive piece here...the use of italics makes the feeling behind the words that much more potent. Great job with this, and I love the title.
Scorp. |
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