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forgotten love?
Contributed by
aSoldier
on
Saturday, 22nd April 2006 @ 12:08:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
how could i be so dumb? i thought you were the one.
i cant get over you
all that we had planned
gone just like that
you have no idea how i feel
about you, me, and life
i saw you someday being my wife
now that i know we will never be
its just to hard to just let you free
i have nothing to look forward to
nothing to live for
its like i dont care anymore
when i go to iraq
i could care less if i ever make it back
i was so happy and excited
couldnt believe i had you
so perfect, sweet, most amazing girl, yeah you
i should've known it was to good to be true
maybe i took it to serious
i fell for everything you told me
but it felt so real
its unreal how some people can just change
forget everything like it never was
i wish i was one of those
someone like you
i wish it was true
that you feel the same as i feel for you
i would forgive you
you make mistakes too
i just cant believe i fell this hard and feel this way
im so mad, ashamed of myself
i make to many mistakes
i feel like im just a #### up
i never want to feel this pain again
i will stop it next time before it can begin
never taking what they say serious
i just end up hurting them and myself
we obviously never felt the same
right now i dont know who to blame
i cant just put you behind me
act like nothing was there just forget
i thought you were different
man how wrong i was
i took it all to heart everything you said
i cant get it out of my head
i thought we were going somewhere
i went to church again to thank God for you
i saw us to be forever
raising a family and the whole 9 yards
you said it too
how could i be so stupid
you got me crying for what
is forgiving someone for something so little so hard
you say your alright, happy feeling fine
when i first heard your voice i made a promise
i would never give up till you were mine
well i didnt and you were
now i dont know what to do
susan i think im in love with you
-PV2 Travis S
this is actually my first time writing poetry, i just needed to get it out somehow. i would like to know what you all think, is its good or a mess? thanks for taking the time to read it.
Copyright ©
aSoldier
... [
2006-04-22 00:08:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: forgotten love?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sagefairy on
Saturday, 22nd April 2006 @ 12:12:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| You're not stupid - some people are just too impatient. With you luck though. Good title. I'm not sure how poetic it is, it seems more like just a letter -- but the emotions are very good. Keep writing! |
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Re: forgotten love?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 22nd April 2006 @ 12:21:59 AM AEST
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Welcome to YPDC..the best site to post your joys and your problems...
A good piece of prose through which your emotions pour freely. Writing is thereupatic... don't stop..
Jenni |
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Re: forgotten love?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 22nd April 2006 @ 12:22:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC, Travis! What an emotive first post! It is abundantly clear what made you pick up the pen and I'd venture to guess that it felt good (or at least, cathartic) to get it all on the page.
Understanding that this is your first piece, I'm terribly hesitant to go at it too critically. Gosh, if someone had read/critiqued my first poem - I probably would have stopped there! I will say this though... if something in you brought you to writing to work your way through a difficult time, then absolutely - you should continue to write! Poetry isn't just the end result... it is, too, the process and what it give the writer. The likelihood that you'll writer a steller poem on your first time out is ridiculously slim, I'd say. Ah, but... the possibility that you will if you continue to write, grow both your skills and yourself and never fully be willing to accept someone else's assessment of whether your writing is important - is much, much greater.
And you know... it occurs to me that it is often very much the same with relationships. We learn and we grow and it ALL - poetry, people, relationships, life - gets better with time. : )
Keep writing!
Delighted to be your first read on your first post and the first to welcome you here,
~Snemmy |
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