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In My Room
Contributed by
BloodyTearDrops
on
Friday, 21st April 2006 @ 09:04:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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Theirs curtains to hide the sight of pain,
A carpet to catch the blood,
A stereo playing those old sad songs,
An eraser to remove the love.
A sweater to cover the slits on my wrist,
Glasses to hide the tears,
A pillow of which i scream into,
A piggy bank to count my fears.
Eyes on the walls that will never tell,
Of the horrible things they see,
This is the room inside my head,
A place of misery.
Copyright ©
BloodyTearDrops
... [
2006-04-21 21:04:55] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In My Room
(User Rating: 1 ) by TheSpiritx on
Friday, 21st April 2006 @ 09:14:27 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I wasn't sure how to feel about this until the last two lines that tied the whole poem together. I was apprehensive at the beginning for fear of lack of direction, but, like I said, the final two lines secured this one. Good job.
TS |
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Re: In My Room
(User Rating: 1 ) by purplestary on
Friday, 21st April 2006 @ 09:25:47 PM AEST (User
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i disagree with the lack of direction in the beginning..i was aware of the feelings and emotions thorughout this whole write..and it was great. there is one thing ..a simple mistake that i catch myself making sometimes..in the beginning you used the word "theirs" and i think the word you mean to use was "theres" ..i use the wrong there, their all the time...lol..but this was an amazing write from start to finish...i love the analogy of the room...nice job. |
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Re: In My Room
(User Rating: 1 ) by Whisper on
Friday, 21st April 2006 @ 11:29:08 PM AEST (User
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Sad, convincing write. Thanks for sharing.
Whisper |
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Re: In My Room
(User Rating: 1 ) by Mim on
Saturday, 22nd April 2006 @ 09:34:31 AM AEST (User
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I think it should be there's lol! I think it's a great poem, powerful imagery, i'm a self harmer too and it really touched me. |
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Re: In My Room
(User Rating: 1 ) by sprinter27 on
Saturday, 22nd April 2006 @ 11:50:17 AM AEST (User
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wow... that was really sad, yet very powerful. i'm sorry you are going through this pain and i wish i could take away some of it... for there used to be a room with me, but i locked the door to it. if you every need to talk, i'm a PM away. sorry about the pain, but this was an excellent write and i enjoyed reading it from the beginning, thanks for sharing. and keep up the great work!
~sprints |
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Re: In My Room
(User Rating: 1 ) by Lilbabe on
Saturday, 22nd April 2006 @ 02:57:22 PM AEST (User
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this poem captured your emotions well. i never would have thought to compare a mind to a room. great job!
~lexy~ |
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