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No Title
Contributed by
Vixen99
on
Sunday, 2nd February 2003 @ 10:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
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I have made so many mistakes in life
I look back and have so much regret
It actually consumes my daily thinking
I try to look ahead and see the good in all
But I wish I could erase some bad moments
Some parts of my life are secrets
I have never told anyone who perhaps I really am
For you tell who you are through the past
Does that make me a liar or just someone who hides
The darkness and monsters of my own closet
I wish I could open up but I have no handles
Some parts of my life are secrets
Everyone has bad encounters but I feel mine are so huge
That no one would even understand
So I choose not to tell things to anyones ears
Their ears might bend at my past and bend so they do not hear
I feel alone and weighed down, what do I do
Some parts of my life are secrets
When a person walks past me and looks at me
Does that person see inside me or right through me
Or is God whom I only share life with
I wish for one day I could be someone else
To see what they have to go through
Some parts of my life are secret
It gets so bad that each day I hate myself for mistakes or bad decisions that ended me with grief
Events I will never live down
Is this really my life and the way its supposed to be
I put my head down in shame and sorrow
I have chains to my life and they will never become free
Some parts of my life are secret
I wish my pillow would assure me that I was the victim
It's feathers are too soft and too forgiving
The firm mattress keeps me awake
And my stare in a mirror makes me feel it's all my fault
I try to convince myself with no help but to no advance
Some parts of my life are secret
Did I put myself up for what I got
Are my dreams my dreams for mistakes
If they are I never want to sleep again
Images too costly for freedom and health
Insomnia please go away
Some parts of my life are secret
You dragon with fire stop burning my page
Each corner has been curled in
I have left and right arms and legs but they are bundled in
I have no direction to go in for I suffer from pride and I wish it was humility
If I do not love myself how can I love others
Some parts of my life are secret
My showers are chilled for a reason
Every inch is pierced with sharp pain
To release me from the heat in my body
And I can finally feel clean
Then why do I still feel so dirty
Some parts of my life are secret
The bruises are no longer there to show anyone for proof
No more cuts, bleeding, and physical pain
But as I sit I feel I have lost all dignity
To the world but still nobody knows
That I have a mask not a face
Some parts of my life are secret
I didn't want my life to go this way
You wrecked it for me and I'm left with complaints
You took complete advantage of a young girl so naive and dumb founded to life
You got the whole package didn't you
You knew what you were doing and I had no clue but I should have known better
Some parts of my life are secret
I will never get it back
It was something precious to me and sacred
I was never able to share it with someone who deserved me
And it was nothing to you
You are nothing but deadly pollution
Some parts of my life are secret
Stars above me radiantly shine at night
I wish that I was one of them in the heavens
And I could guide others to avoid pain
And rest in mid air to have all the space I need
And then I would feel free
Some parts of my life are secret
I have made so many mistakes in life
I look back and have so much regret
It actually consumes my daily thinking
I try to look ahead and see the good in all
But I wish I could erase some bad moments
Some parts of my life are secrets
Copyright ©
Vixen99
... [
2003-02-02 22:00:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: No Title
(User Rating: 1 ) by Suzy on
Monday, 3rd February 2003 @ 12:55:39 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I'm wiping the tears as I write this comment. My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry for all the hell that you have been put through. Not one person deserves that. It's not your fault I hope that you've learned that by now. Don't feel dirty or like you need to hide because people won't understand. Be the real you so that YOU don't get trapped behind something like that. Don't let it hold you back. Share the real you with everyone and be proud of the person that you have become and are still becoming. Once again I'm sorry that you feel like you have to hide. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. One day you will find a way to share yourself and it will be a great relief when you do. Wonderful poem it's so sad and filled with a lot of anguish.
Lasca |
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