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The coming of the night
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Saturday, 15th April 2006 @ 11:14:22 AM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
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The road was long and the shadows grew thick. A raiment of dogwood surrounded the shadow -great plumes of light refracted from each petal- stealing, with simple, star-like white, the persistent effluent fear that resides- perhaps in royal condemnation, as crowned highly on our heads so as to always be upon us, glaring down with a contemptuous grin; hating us for what will we might have over it if only we turned from our fear- in the coming of the night.
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2006-04-15 11:14:22] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The coming of the night
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 15th April 2006 @ 03:53:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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In my opinion, you should always finish a piece of writing because you'll never know what you could end up with, i think this is a good start, although you may want to repeat the word dogwood or remind the reader what your talking about in those last few lines because i foregot. and continue in explaining why the dogwood produced the following emotions |
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Re: The coming of the night
(User Rating: 1 ) by iodinelove on
Saturday, 15th April 2006 @ 03:59:20 PM AEST (User
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man...can you people read? i don't want to hear about the content...you're missing the point...
when this is done it'll be far too long for most of you to read, what with the modern attention span (or lack thereof) I'll just go to writing.com...^_^ thanks for the comment though... |
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Re: The coming of the night
(User Rating: 1 ) by JGB on
Sunday, 30th April 2006 @ 01:08:51 AM AEST (User
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I want to hear more. Keep going with it. Maybe another stanza.
"To Be Continued" |
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